The Train Scene GoF...

[quigonginger]

No: HPFGUIDX 162601

And now to the post that made me sit at my computer for hours 
catching up on the list just so I could stand, applaud, throw roses 
at the feet of the author and, of course, respond:

Steve/bboyminn wrote:
> Let us start with a question; how do you stop a bully from
> bullying you? Answer: Punch him in the nose, and kick him
> when he is down. I know that seems completely counter 
> intuitive, but it works. 
> 
> Notice that Bullies don't pick on each other. No, they
> bully those they preceive as helpless and weak. They
> bully particular people because they are convinced that
> those people won't fight back. When the preceived weak
> and helpless suddenly fight back, then what was preceived
> as a safe sure action takes on a very noticable element of
> risk. That is a sure way to gain a bully's respect.
> 
> So, why don't the kids who are being bullied go to an 
> adult? Because the school is not ruled by teachers, 
> administrators, or rules. It is ruled by the Code of the
> Playground. The very fact the bullying thrives in a 
> heavily supervised area like a school tells kids that 
> the adults are not on their side. That going to a teacher
> is more likely to get you in trouble than the bully, and
> is certainly going to bring on a huge heap of inaction 
> or at the most token action.
> 
> So, the choices are 'grin and bear it' or 'kick bully 
> butt'. (big snip)
You duke it out regardless of the 
> odds of winning because that is the only law that a 
> bully understands.

Ginger:
Steve, let me give you a hug.  That was a totally realistic analysis. 

School officials (which are lacking on the train) can only react to 
what they see.  If it is hearsay, they are bound to be "fair".  Kids 
are taught nowadays that the right thing to do is to walk away and 
tell a teacher.  In a perfect world, where everyone played by the 
same rules, this would be the ideal solution.

The kid would go to the teacher.  The teacher would talk to the 
bully.  The bully would say he was sorry and mend his way.  They 
would have a healthy snack with no trans fats, and everyone would 
live happily ever after.

As you so aptly point out, the bully doesn't play by these rules.  In 
fact, the bully uses these rules to his advantage. (I say "his" not 
to be sexist, but because we are discussing Draco here.  Apologies to 
any guys who feel that I am trashing their gender.  Girls are most 
certainly capable of bullying as well.)

My adorable Godson is going through a bullying right now.  He has 
been told to "tell a teacher".  Of course the bully is from a "good 
family" and can do no wrong, so, according to the school, it isn't 
happening.  He is just making it up.  As are the other kids who are 
being bullied.  His father has told the school that if the boy has to 
defend himself because the school won't, that he (the father) will 
stand behind his son.  His mother has gotten the parents of the other 
kids together and they are threatening legal action if it is not 
stopped.

This all reminds me of Harry and Draco.  Sure Harry is "the Boy who 
Lived", but Draco is from "a good family".  Draco is careful to keep 
himself in a position where he can say he didn't throw the first 
punch except for the end of OoP where he attacks Harry on the train 
and in the bathroom scene in HBP where Draco wasn't in control of the 
situation.

Actually, that's kind of the point.  Draco (in the first 4 books) is 
always the one in control.  He seeks out the trio.  He has his words 
picked out.  He has his muscles (in the form of C&G) flexed and ready 
for the trio's response.

As long as it is just words, he can go on forever.  He can keep 
spouting "mudblood" and "LV rules" and that sort of thing until the 
cows come home.  If the trio tells him to leave, tough.  He just 
keeps at it.  Eventually, they make him stop.  They do it in the only 
way the bully understands.  They physically make him shut his mouth.

My Godson's bully has been taunting him verbally.  He has been saying 
that he sleeps with his mother and rapes 2-yr-olds and I won't get 
into what the bully accuses about the boy's father as there is no way 
to put it politely.  Granted, these are much younger kids than Draco 
and the trio, but the MO is the same.  Push, push, push.  Push until 
you get a response.  Then hide behind your parents' position in 
society.  

The trio can't walk away on the train.  They are in the compartment 
and Draco and Co. are blocking the door. They can't shut him up.  
They can't go for help or call a prefect (not that a prefect would do 
much good against Draco).  He knows exactly which buttons to push.  
Declare victory.  Abuse Cedric's memory.  Threaten one of their 
group.  How long would it have gone on had the trio not struck?  
Until London, I'd bet.

Draco is asking for it- not in the "please, won't you hex me?" kind 
of way, but in the "I want a response, and I won't stop until I get 
it" kind of way.  Well, he got it.  In a way he can't ignore.

Sometimes "stop it" doesn't cut it.  Sometimes there is no way to get 
help.  Sometimes you just have to take a stand and, as Steve 
says, "kick some bully butt".  Counterintuitive?  Only according to 
our adult minds where we have the upper hand over the bully.  Not if 
you're a kid who just wants it to stop.  True, it only stops it for 
now, but if you're a kid in that position, "for now" is good enough.

As you have probably guessed, I was in that position once upon a 
time.  My dad taught me the rules:

If there is an adult around:
1) Never throw the first punch.
2) Never throw the second punch.  When the first punch is thrown, the 
teacher isn't looking (the bully makes sure of that).  After the 
first punch, there is a commotion, and the teacher looks, so if you 
throw the second punch, you'll be the one to get in trouble.
3) If you get punched, stand your ground, look the bully square in 
the eye, and say as loudly and clearly as you can "Draco Malfoy (or 
bully's name)!  Don't you ever hit me again."  That tells the teacher 
that you have been hit, and by whom.

If the teacher doesn't intervene, or if there are no adults around 
and you get hit, fight.  Fight hard, and let them know you won't 
stand for it.  If you lose, you have at least sent the message that 
you won't take it.  If you win, more's the better.

So back to Draco and the trio- Draco (still talking about the first 4 
books here) never throws the first punch.  He doesn't have to.  He is 
in the position of control.  He can harass, intimidate, threaten, 
insult, and annoy them to his heart's content.  The one time Harry 
does walk away, Draco responds by hexing Harry when his back is 
turned, and is made a ferret for his troubles.  It's just lucky for 
Harry that Draco missed and that Fake!Moody was there to stop things 
before Draco got off another shot. 

Draco in the last 2 books (actually the end of OoP) becomes more of 
an aggressor.  Given their past, and the fact that Draco has moved 
himself up from bratty boy parroting his parents' prejudices to 
fledgling (if not actual) DE, I think Harry would be making a mistake 
to underestimate him as just a mouthy bully.  His father is in 
Azkaban, and he has personal motive for revenge.  He is in the 
service of LV.  He is a true threat now, and has taken on an adult 
role in an actual way in the war against LV.

Harry has never encouraged Draco to "bring it on".  He only responds 
to Draco's actions.  Words are actions.  They are Draco's weapon of 
choice.  He gets as much sadistic glee from using them as the Dudley 
type of bully enjoys punching.  

So what do you do in Harry's shoes?  Some sit back and take it.  Some 
fight back.  I'm with Harry.

Ginger, still aware of the Rules of the Playground, even if they 
don't get used in the adult world.  Much.