JKR's dealing with emotions - Talking about Death

[kiricat4001]

No: HPFGUIDX 147474

--- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, "dumbledore11214" 
<dumbledore11214 at ...> wrote:
 
> Right, as I said I agree that if Harry's grief would have been 
only 
> shown  in that one scene, I would have completely agreed that it 
was 
> lame. I mean, I understand Harry's bravado, but IMO even if person 
> tries one can barely be completely in control of one's grief. The 
> flashes of pain will show up here and there, IMO only of course.
> 
> I also want to wave at Lupinlore and thank him for more detailed 
> explanation, since I definitely understand where he is coming from 
> now.
> 
> Some of the possibilities LL was talking about and what you just 
> suggested are GREAT. I would not mind seeing them in the text AT 
ALL. 
> I guess all I am saying that I was OK with how it was portrayed as 
is.
> Not that I would have minded seeing more.
 

> Kemper:
> > Also lame, the Order's lack of a ritual goodbye for if not for 
> them.  Or
> > maybe they had one and Harry wasn't invited.  <SNIP> But after 
the death.... not 
> much.
> > Not even silent lamenting.  
> 
> Alla:
> 
> Agreed. I found the lack of goodbye for Sirius to be strange and 
> rather annoying, but I keep hoping that it will somehow tie in 
with 
> the that mysterious reason for Sirius' death, although I am unable 
to 
> figure out how.

Marianne:
Ditto on all the above.  In the matter of the portrayal of grief or 
loss, the repeated little reactions that Harry has when people 
mention Sirius are realistic enough for me to convey that Harry is 
indeed feeling these things. I think it's plausible that this is how 
Harry grieves. I did a similar thing when I lost my mother at the 
age of thirteen. I see from Shaun's post below that he also reacted 
in a similar way.

OTOH, the issue I see with Harry (and that I had, although I didn't 
realize it at the time) is that, other than DD's mention of how 
Harry's handling Sirius's death, there is no other adult 
acknowledgement to Harry that he has indeed suffered a great loss. 
I'm not talking about grand pronouncements or over-the-top orations, 
just a simple "Harry, I'm sure you still think a lot about Sirius.  
I'm sorry he's gone. If you need me, I'm here" kind of thing from, 
well, anyone.  Maybe Molly or Arthur. Maybe Lupin. Maybe even 
McGonagall in a brief moment at the beginning of the school year.  

I realize my reaction to this is rooted in my personal experiences, 
but just that little nod from people would have been a great help.  
Harry doesn't have to bare his soul or burst into a grief-stricken 
frenzy in response.  He doesn't have to do anything.  However, the 
lack of that particular type of contact and understanding from the 
adults around him left me cold.  And, that there was no memorial 
service, which was a perfect opportunity for people to show their 
support for Harry, also left me scratching my head. 

Marianne