[HPforGrownups] JKR's dealing with emotions - Talking about Death

[Morianna X. Smythe]

No: HPFGUIDX 147480

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Dreadnought :  
Different people grieve differently. And there's no right or wrong way to do
it. 
 
Mori: 
I am a forensic scientist.  I work with death every day.  Now, I won't go so
far as to claim that makes me an expert on grief, but the fact that I lost
my father in my early twenties, my sister AND mother in seperate incidences
within a six-month window in my early thirties, I think, does qualify me to
speak on the subject of grief --at least from my personal perspective .  
 
Not only does everyone react to death differently, we all grieve
differently--but what some of you good folks may not know (yet...and
luckily) is that every death of a loved-one will hit you differently.  
 
With my father's death, I had about 5 years of survivor's guilt.  My sister
died right before Sept 11, and my grief got mixed up in that whole
fiasco...So I look at the pictures of NYC's old skyline and think of my
sister although we never ever went to NYC.  She was in desperate pain for
years before her passing, so my grief was also relief in knowing she
couldn't hurt anymore.  Mom's death hit me like a ton of bricks.  I was her
caregiver for the last five years of her illness.  I knew it was coming.  We
had five years to "right the wrongs" of growing-up.  And DH and I spoiled
her rotten.  But you never really prepare for it. All these deaths in less
than a decade--and each one "felt" completely different. 
 
I think Harry's reaction to Cedric's death was right on the money--shock,
horror, and guilt.  His reaction to Sirius' death was anger and denial
followed by acceptance.  I personally think he got over it relatively
quickly.  He and Sirius were having issues.  His initial reaction to DD's
death appears to be revenge/vengeance.  In my experience, that's usually a
*bad* way to react to death--
 
Prof Mori