JKR's... emotions - Talking about Death & Satisfaction

[Steve]

No: HPFGUIDX 147494

--- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, Kemper <iam.kemper at ...> wrote:
>
> > --- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, "lupinlore" wrote:
> > >
> > > Chuckle.  It truly is amazing how people read totally different
> > > books, isn't it?  I find her dealing with Harry's grief ... to
> > > be incredibly poor writing
> > >
> > > ...edited...
> > >
> > > Perhaps it does have to do with emotional styles.  I really
> > > don't know. But it certainly is true that, surveying a number
> > > of different boards and forums ..., those three instances in
> > > particular bring a storm of dissent and objection.  What do
> > > other people think is the source of this?
> > >
> > >
> > > Lupinlore
> > >
> >
> > bboyminn:
> >
> > I think perhaps the problem is that you are looking for 'movie'
> > solutions to grief, where actors engage in long soliloquies 
> > filled with pseudo-emotion and thick Shakespearian accents.
> >
> > But is that how it happens in real-life? Do we really want to 
> > 'talk about it'? ...snip life goes on stuff...
> >
> >
> 
> ..
> .
> Kemper now:
> As much as I disagree with Lupinlore which is frequently, I agree
> with Steve even more.  Except this time.
> .
> The problem with Harry's coping of Sirius' death isn't that long,
> Shakespearean soliloquies are absent from the text, it's that 
> Harry isn't shown waking with a tear-soaked pillow or something 
> similar to show the reader the depth of Harry's loss and how he 
> was hurting silently.  All JKR had to write was a short, simple 
> sentence and it would have been clear.   ...edited...
>
> Not even silent lamenting.  --Kemper

bbboyminn:

Let us try and look at it this way, and I think this may be in part
what Lupinlore was originally trying to say, while I found the books
satisfying, I wasn't necessarily satisfied with some aspects of it.
So, satisfying on a large scale, but unsatisfying in some details.

On the subject of Sirius's death, certainly I found it unsatisfying.
He was just gone, and that was that. But until I've read the last
book, I can't say there isn't a reason for that. Personally, it
wouldn't have taken any great 'thing' in the story to acknowledge
Sirius's life and death. A simple heartfelt toast would have done it
for me. Just some outward acknowledgement that he existed and that he
was important and that he would be sorely missed. One toast and then
move on.

So, I do agree that Sirius's death was dealt with in a unsatisfying
manner; I don't agree that Harry didn't grieve for him properly. I
think there are many things that clearly explain and validate Harry's
reactions. Further, I think if you add up all the small and subtle
references to Harry feelings regarding Sirius and his death, you will
have the overwhelming indication that this was very painful to Harry,
and that it both hurt him and he felt that pain very deeply. 

When you are trying to avoid the unbearable pain and deepseated sense
of self-guilt, talking about it is the last thing you want to do. Some
people can never 'talk about it'. Others need time to pass and for the
pain to ease before they are able to express themselves. 

So, while I find Sirius's death very unresolved and unsatisfing, I
find Harry's reaction very believable. But, of course, there may yet
be a reason why there hasn't so much as been a fond memorial toast to
Sirius. I have my own wild and unlikely theory that Harry will bring
Sirius back out from behind the Veil, but that's another post altogether.

Just passing it along.

Steve/bboyminn