JKR's dealing with emotions - Talking about Death

[Lia]

No: HPFGUIDX 147554

bboyminn wrote:
>> <snip> But is that how it happens in real-life? Do we really 
want to 'talk about it'? In real-life there is no satisfaction 
in death. Mostly we suffer in silence. <snip>
 
In real-life the best comfort is the silent company of our loved 
ones who are going through the same thing. Our pain is the measure 
of their grief. So, we sit in silence, and maybe if we are feeling 
brave, we engage in a reminiscence or two, then fall into silent 
grief again. No long soliloquies, no thick Shakespearian accents, 
no satisfing eulogies; just grief and time and silence.
 
<snip>

They say talking about it makes you feel better, but it doesn't, 
at least not in the short run. In the short run, talking about it 
bring up an unbearable pain that no one would willingly face, and 
we see this with Harry. He can maintain as long as he doesn't talk 
about it, but as soon as the subject comes up, so does the 
unbearable pain. So he avoids the subject, and makes peace with 
the death in question in his own way and in his own time. <snip> <<
 

Lia says:
   
At the risk of sounding like I am posting a "yeah, what he said" 
post, I still must state that you are right on the money as far as 
expressions of grief.  Here's why I believe that:
   
My father, to whom I was very close and whose personality and 
temperament and eyes I possess, passed away in the summer of 1994.  
It was an unexpected passing.
   
Now, I am an extremely loquacious, expressive and emotional 
individual.  However, not once have I shown outward signs of grief 
in public since he died...not even at his service!  Moreover, I 
haven't ever really cried in front of my mother (the only one who 
really would understand why), and haven't even wept much in 
general.  
   
 Understand, this is VERY out of character for me.
   
Sometimes I've wondered why I don't seem to feel more.  I've just 
gone about my business, and only occasionally will get a little 
"tripped" up, usually  when someone says or does something that 
reminds me of my father.
   
I've come to realize that this is just my way of dealing with 
death.  In short, instead of talking, I have been silent.
   
Perhaps it's the same with Harry.  He strikes me as having the 
potential to display lots of emotion (and has done so in certain 
instances throughtout the books), but even though that's part of 
his nature, he may deal with death in a seemingly "out of character" 
way.  In addition, I think that young men often feel that it isn't 
appropriate for them to weep, even though they may have a darned 
good reason for doing so.
   
 On a semi-related note:  perhaps one reason why Cedric's death 
seems, at least at face value, to be more disturbing to him, is 
that it hit too close to home.  Cedric was YOUNG, like Harry, 
whereas Sirius (and Dumbledore) were not.  Also, Cedric was more 
innocent than Sirius or Dumbledore (although I think that they were 
both good men), which also makes his death more troubling.
   
 Just my two cents (or two Knuts, if you prefer)...
   
 Lia, who hopes she was rambling on TOO much