[HPforGrownups] Re: JKR's dealing with emotions /Harry's grief over Sirius - realistic or not?

[AnitaKH]

No: HPFGUIDX 147559

I tried cutting and pasting other remarks on the thread, then gave up  in despair (although I wasn't demonstrative about it...)  
  
  As I've been reading parts of this thread, I'm reminded of Jane  Austen's Sense and Sensibility, wherein Elinor and Marianne are  contrasts in dealing with strong emotion.  Austen makes a point of  giving Elinor the "stiff upper lip and keep the home fires burning"  attitude, while Marianne (and Mrs. Dashwood, for that matter) express,  even revel in their grief, first over the death of the girls' father,  then in Willoughby's betrayal.  Marianne and Mrs. D discount  Elinor's suffering because it isn't demonstrated, yet her feelings are  at least as deep as theirs.  Austen's brilliance is in  demonstrating Elinor's controlled behavior and Marianne's over-the-top  reactions without making judgment.  We see that Elinor's  self-control serves her in better stead, but we never wish Marianne  were just like Elinor.
  
  In a sense, we can see a parallel with Sirius and Harry in dealing with  profound loss.  Sirius is, almost literally, mad with grief.   When he is captured after the confrontation with PP, he is laughing  like a madman.  He displays impetuous, indeed sometimes  thoughtless, behavior and allows his emotions to dictate his actions,  often.
  
  Harry, although no Elinor, shows more restraint in HBP for similar  reasons, I believe.  He has a larger task at hand, and falling  apart in the aftermath of Sirius' death serves no one.  We're  given a less-controlled Harry in OOP, and we're shown his growth  through his increasing self-control in HBP.  
  
  I definitely believe that personal experience can't help but color the  reaction to JKR's use of controlled grief.  Those of us who had to  be the "strong" person at a time of profound grief are likely both to  understand Harry's reactions and fill in any gaps that may exist in the  literal narrative.
  
  So there!
  
  akh, always gleeful when she figures out a way to sneak in Jane Austen references.

		
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