JKR's dealing with emotions /Harry's grief over Sirius - realistic or not?

[justcarol67]

No: HPFGUIDX 147442

Lupinlore wrote:
<snip> Nor do I think "moaning and agonizing" would have been in the
slightest bit melodramatic or unrealistic, in and of themselves.  ONLY
moaning and agonizing would not have been a good way of handling it,
just as ONLY "being strong for Sirius' sake" was a terrible way of
handling it.
> 
> I expected a GREAT deal more complexity and sophistication on JKR's
part in dealing with this issue.  I must say I lost 90% of my respect
for her as a writer when she came out with that remark about not 
grieving for Sirius' sake.  It seems clear to me that she forced her
characters to comply with the demands of her plot schedule, no matter
how unrealistic, and frankly silly, those demands were.
><snip>
> There is NO WAY that Harry's relationship with Dumbledore should
have settled down into a harmonious and completely trusting and
respectful pattern after all the revelations in OOTP, despite the blow
up in DD's office as a "pressure valve."  Far too many revelations
were made and issues opened for that.  Not the least of these is
Dumbledore's claim to have been responsible for Sirius' death.  A more
sophisticated, and realistic, way of dealing with the issue would have
been to deal with the re-development of the relationship slowly over
the course of the book.  Instead, "all is forgiven, now let's fight
Voldemort!"  Excuse me while I guffaw in derision.
<snip>
> Harry believes Snape is responsible for Sirius' death and he still
speaks with the man, school rules or no school rules?  He does NOT
demand a greater explanation from Dumbledore, whether the man is
reluctant or not?  He does NOT recall that Dumbledore dodged his
question about whether it was "all right" for Snape to hate James?
Excuse me, a third guffaw of derision. <snip>

> Harry has nightmares about Cedric, but his sleep in HBP, at least 
> after his stay at the Dursleys, seems quite untroubled?  A sixth 
> guffaw. <snip>
> 
> Harry knows his failure at Occlumency <snip> led to Sirius' death. 
But he accepts DDs explanation that there is no need for Occlumency
now, that what happened with Sirius won't happen again, at face value
and never seems to feel a twinge of worry or unease about it.  An
eighth guffaw. <snip>

Carol responds:
As you never agree with anything I say, and will no doubt respond with
further guffaws of derision, I'm probably wasting my time in asking
you to look at the books a wee bit more objectively without imposing
your own expectations on them. 

It seems to me (note that I am not presenting my own opinions as fact)
that Harry's reaction to the death of Cedric, which you seem to think
is exaggerated in contrast to the underplayed reaction to Sirius
Black's death, resulted in nightmares for at least three reasons: It
was the completely unexpected murder of an innocent boy close to his
own age, the circumstances surrounding the murder were traumatic, and
Harry blamed himself for asking Cedric to share the TWT cu with him.
Had he not done so, Cedric would not have died. (I'm not saying that
Cedric's death is in any way Harry's fault, only that he thinks it
is.) For this reason, he doesn't want to talk about Cedric's death to
Cho or the DA or anyone else. Oddly, he doesn't blame Wormtail at all
that I can see. He simply says that *Voldemort* murdered Cedric and
lets it go at that. (Granted, explaining that PP wasn't really dead
would complicate matters, but he could at least have said that
Voldemort ordered a DE to kill Cedric.) Can it be that Cedric's death
is so mixed up with other traumatic and scarcely believable incidents
that he suppresses the details, reliving them but not sharing them
with anyone else? And there's the added guilt that he, Harry,
persuaded Lupin and Black not to murder Pettigrew. DD tells him that
he's not responsible for what Wormtail does after his escape, but does
Harry fully believe him? I think not. And he can't even blame Snape
for Cedric's death. No outlet, no scapegoat, no release until Hermione
finally persuades him to reveal the details to Rita Skeeter for
publication in the Quibbler.

In the case of Sirius Black, Harry also blames himself (for believing
LV's "vision" and causing Black to leave the safety of 12 GP).
Earlier, when Black gives him the mirror, he resolves that "it would
not be he, Harry, who lured Sirius from safety" (quoted from memory,
sorry). And yet that's exactly what happened. And again, Harry doesn't
blame the actual murderer, Bellatrix, or the mastermind behind the
Prophecy theft, Voldemort. Or if he blames them, we never see him
doing so. He takes out some of his anger on Dumbledore by shouting and
smashing his possessions in OoP, but since DD accepts the lion's share
of the blame, and Harry finally understands why DD has refused to look
at him all year, it's completely unsatisfying to place the blame on
him. Instead, Harry finds a scapegoat who is neither the real murderer
nor his mentor: Snape. So rather than grieving as you think he ought
to grieve (surely he considers himself too old to cry and it hurts too
much to talk about it), he projects his grief and guilt in the form of
hatred onto Snape, whom he already hates for other reasons. And that
disguised and unreleased grief intensifies throughout HBP as he finds
still more reasons to hate Snape.

I don't think he's forgotten his godfather or ceased to mourn him, but
the grief and repressed guilt are pushed to the back of his mind,
replaced in his conscious mind by the suspicion that Malfoy is up to
something and later by the comforting certainty that Snape is helping
him. In other words, IMO, most if not all of Harry's grief and
half-acknowledged guilt is transmuted into near-pathological hatred
and rage at Severus Snape. You may see that as a healthy and normal
reaction. I see it as very dangerous for his true mission, to destroy
Voldemort through the power of Love. 

But wrong-headed as the rage and hatred are (IMO), they are at least
understandable as a way of dealing with grief for a boy who has been
taught not to express his emotions and who feels responsible for the
death of the man who came to rescue him at the MoM.

BTW, Harry said nothing about "not *grieving* for Sirius's sake." He
only said that he needed to be strong, to keep on fighting Voldemort,
for Sirius's sake. And that makes sense, considering that Voldemort is
ultimately responsible for Black's death. Unfortunately, IMO, Harry
could only be "strong" (not lie around moping, or "moaning and
agonizing") by projecting his grief in the form of rage onto Snape.

I really wonder, given your derision and your view that JKR is a bad
writer, why you're still reading the books. I also wonder why, given
your apparent unwillingness to consider your own views as anything
other than established fact, why you bother to participate in a group
whose opinions you so firmly reject.

Carol, politely asking you to refrain from guffaws of derision and
from taking your deeply held convictions for granted if you answer
this post