Why Didn't Harry Ask About His Parents' Graves? (was: Re: Godric's Hollow)

[Steve]

No: HPFGUIDX 149983

--- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, "dana_052002" <dana_052002 at ...>
wrote:
>
> Vera:
> 
> > I think that firstly Harry was pretty much convinced
> > about his parents car accident and that he was so
> > overwhelmed by learning he was a wizard and that he
> > could finally leave the Dursleys that he never got
> > round to investigating their death further.
> > 
> > Seeing in from an 11-year-old's point of view, their
> > death remains a fact that cannot be altered in any
> > way. He is proud his parents were wizards, he misses
> > them terribly and the events that follow don't let him
> > dwell on that.
> 
> 
> Dany Now,
> 
> From an 11 years old perspective it is understandable, why he never 
> asked about his parents' graves, but, what about when he was getting 
> older? Does he know that his parents are burried somewhere? 
> ...edited...
> 
> Take care now,
> Dany
>

bboyminn:

Well, Dany, now that Harry is getting older, he does have an interest
in seeing his parent's graves. But prior to that, I really don't see
any inconsistency. Harry grew up in a very oppressive and repressed
household were the subject of his parents and anything related to
their 'world' was forbidden, and subject to punishment. It doesn't
take a kid long to learn how to survive in that environment.

Plus, as a kid, Harry is powerless. What's he going to do, hop in
Vermon's car and drive to Godric's Hollow? 

I'm sure over the years before Hogwarts, Harry may have picked up
small bits and pieces, but certainly the information was very scant.
So, what can he do but endure as best he can. When he finally gets his
invitation to Hogwarts, I think he is a bit busy to be thinking about
his parents graves. Yet he does accumulate more information about
their lives and their death.

Now Harry is nearing the status of adult in the wizard world. He has
his own money, he has his own house, he is free to control his own
decisions and movements. Plus he has experienced the additional tragic
deaths of Sirius and Dumbledore. I think this is the perfect time for
Harry to think about his parents and about visiting their graves. 

Prior to this time, his life was too much under the control of other
people. Although, I think if he had had the inclination, he could have
probably forced the issue.

Further, certainly Harry misses his 'parents', anyone would. But to
him 'James' and 'Lily' are simply names that are applied to his
parents. He has no real accessable memories of them. They are just
names he knows, and the people associated with those names are long
gone. It's hard to miss 'Lily' and 'James' when he never knew them.
Yet, at the same time, he can still miss the 'parents' he never knew.
He probably didn't even know what they looked like until Hagrid showed
him pictures. No actually, he saw them a couple times in the Mirror of
Erised, but those seem like fleeting glances; nothing he could hold on
to and view anytime he wanted.

I guess my point is that Harry's concept of his parent early in his
life is so abstact that he doesn't consider them in the light of the
real world. Now that he is older, and more importantly, more
independent, and now that his real life is marked by tragic deaths, it
seems reasonable that now is the time that he thinks of his parents
graves. 

Further, it also seem like now is the time when Harry is most likely
to die himself, and like most people who feel that impending weight,
his thoughts turn to doing a few last important things before that
death comes. Paying his last respect to his parents, and seeing the
place where his dark and tragic life started, seem to be occurring
right on schedule to me.

Just a thought.

Steve/bboyminn