Why Didn't Harry Ask About His Parents' Graves? (was: Re: Godric's Hollow)

[merrillsyndrome]

No: HPFGUIDX 150123

> Ceridwen

>>>SNIPPED-HOPEFULLY NOT OFFENSIVELY<<<<

> But as far as I know, my mother has never had a burning desire to 
> visit her parents' graves.  They've been dead most of her life.  
> That's nothing new, and is not comforting. What she wants is what 
>she never got as a child, a feel for what her parents were like, a 
>way of knowing them as they were when they were alive.  She misses 
>having parents.  She never missed having dead parents.

em:

I haven't lost a parent yet but I have lost several friends (most 
tragically: suicide, terrible car accidents, etc) and I don't think I 
have gone to a single one of their graves.  I only went to one 
funeral and only as support for another friend.  It is easier to 
remember them as they were when they were living.  Going to their 
graves would just be a bleak reminder that they are dead.  I think 
too much emphasis is placed on a grave, its just a house for bones.  
It is much more meaningful to look at pictures or visit places you 
went together...oh to have a pensieve to "re-live" the good times and 
the times you have almost forgotten.

Back to what Ceridwen was saying: I think it is perfectly normal for 
Harry to not have a desire to visit his parent's graves.  It's 
exactly as Ceridwen so poignantly put it:  "She misses having 
parents.  She never missed having dead parents".  This has to be 
exactly what Harry is feeling. He missed out on having parents, he 
has dead parents. Going to their grave only reaffirms he has dead 
parents.  No one needs that final reminder, even if they don't 
remember their parents.  Its not a celebration of their life to go 
there nor are you "visiting" them. No one is there, just the reminder 
that there is an emptiness in your heart because you miss someone 
terribly. 

(Those of you who find going to loved ones graves comforting, please 
forgive me, one should always do what comforts them no matter what 
anyone else thinks)
 
jmho
-em
(who is always about a week behind in the threads and yet still feels 
a desire to post)