Nice Lupin (was: Nice versus good, was: Hagrid and Snape)

[sistermagpie]

No: HPFGUIDX 152832

--- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, "marionrosnl" <M.Ros at ...> 
wrote:
>
> Hi, newbie here.
>  
> It always amazes me that so many people like Lupin because he 
> is 'nice'.  I abhorr the man *because* he is 'nice'.
>  
> Remus Lupin is always kind, polite, politically correct, always 
> prepared to find excuses for people's behaviour and so *nice* it 
> scares me. The man is so *fake* it hurts! He never shows what he 
> feels, truly feels. He never get angry, never shouts at people, 
even 
> when confronted with Pettigrew (finding out after twelve years 
that 
> the friend he supposedly mourned was a traitor and the friend he 
> condemned to Azkaban was innocent) he keeps his cool and shows no 
> great emotion. He's so eventempered that it is subhuman. But for 
all 
> his 'niceness' (or perhaps because of it) he is also incredibly 
> manipulative: he knows how to win people and how to piss off those 
> he dislikes in such a way that he *still* looks nice (that 
> BoggartSnape incident was no accident, I tell you).
>  
> Passive-agressive one might say.
>  
> Practically dissolve-into-the-background bland-natured.
>  
> I don't trust people like that. Because they are slumbering 
> volcanos. Everybody thinks they're harmless little hills. Until 
the 
> lava erupts. 

Magpie:
Heh--this is all reminding me of why I love Lupin.  Yes, he is even-
tempered and never letting anyone know what he's feeling, and that's 
why you should never underestimate him.  Mwahahaha!

I would disagree with the idea that even-temperedness means there's 
a volcano underneath there waiting to erupt--even-tempered or 
controlled does not have to mean you're repressing something huge.  
It's enough that the personality is closed and protected, that you 
don't know what the person is thinking.  And really, he should be 
that way!  Not only is he a werewolf which in itself is like a 
metaphor for having a different side under a pleasant surface, but 
given his position in society he's got every reason to constantly be 
protecting himself.  He can't trust anyone or expect anything from 
anyone imo.  

So I find him intriguing for the very reasons he's potentially bad--
he keeps the secret about Sirius when he shouldn't, he shows some 
passive-resistance/passive-aggression to Snape about taking his 
Potion (I find that very intriguing and believable) and then later 
actually forgets to take the thing.  He disappoints many fans (but 
not me!) by staying distant from Harry and not rushing to become his 
new daddy.  He's calm about Sirius' death.  Lupin's ultimately alone 
in the world, I think, and knows it.

Yes, I think Lupin is a very good example of nice being different 
than good, because "good" is a decision that can be made many times. 
You're not just good and that's it, you have chances to choose good 
or bad all the time and sometimes you'll choose one and sometimes 
the other.  In the Pensieve the "good" choice would be to put a stop 
to Snape being tormented, but Lupin chooses to do what is better for 
himself instead.  (I also rather agree with Lupinlore that he 
approves of it on some level, though I would put it in a more 
backwards way: if Lupin is friends with James and Sirius it's at 
least obvious that he doesn't disapprove of this sort of thing 
enough to dislike them.)  He chooses to keep silent about Sirius' 
secret in PoA not even out of any residual loyalty to Sirius (as 
Sirius himself might have kept James' secret if they were in the 
same positions) but because it keeps the waters calm for himself.  
When he says he neither likes nor dislikes Snape I think he's on one 
hand telling the truth--he really doesn't feel that strongly about 
him--he's not Harry or Sirius with extreme swings of emotion.  Otoh 
I think he's being his natural self-protective, diplomatic self.  
His position is such that he can't go around making sweeping 
statements of preference.  It's best for him to be more pragmatic.  
Anything he says could be used against him later.  He's been 
abandoned before and probably always assumes it can and will happen 
again.  Actually, Lupin may be the one member of the Marauders who 
sometimes feels a bit like Snape.

This doesn't mean he can't ever do the right thing or make 
the "good" choice, of course.  I don't think his type of personality 
means that he must be bad.  Many people find his type of personality 
off-putting for just the reasons listed, though those judgments 
aren't always fair at all.  It's taking a personality type and 
making it into a value judgment, and that can be dangerous.  It may 
have gotten Lupin in trouble before, too.  After all, we know that 
Lupin did seem to be suspected as the spy years ago, and as far as 
we know now, he wasn't.  It was Peter, who was never suspected, 
because people made some false judgments about him based on his 
personality, perhaps.

-m