[HPforGrownups] What is Manipulation (was Re: Nice versus good, was: Hagrid and Snape)

[Peg DiGrazia]

No: HPFGUIDX 152878

Renee:
  >Being nice most of the time is part of Lupin's personality, just as being pedantic is >part of Hermione's, or being hot-headed part of Ron's. He may cultivate it more than >most, due to what he is, but that doesn't mean it's merely a mask.
   
  Peg:
  I agree.  I don't at all see Lupin's being nice as a mask.  To me, he's a man who's struggled most of his life to keep his emotions under control because he hates the fact that he loses control completely once a month.  And honestly, some people are simply born with personalities that are not outgoing or aggressive, and it's difficult for them to speak their minds, but that doesn't mean they're being fake.  People who are extroverted tend to have a hard time understanding that.  Lupin's clearly unhappy and brooding at Christmas time in HBP, but is as nice as ever to Harry.  Does this make him phony?  It's not Harry's fault that Lupin had to go and live with the werewolves and can't be with his girlfriend; the fact that Lupin speaks kindly to him and doesn't snap at him to me is further evidence that he's a decent man with concern for others' feelings.
   
  Renee:
  >What I do think, though, is that Lupin's nicenes *is* a mask where Snape >is concerned. It just doesn't sound believable when he says he neither likes nor >dislikes Snape; I believe he does dislike him but carefully refrains from adding fuel to >Harry's hatred of the man, because that would be counterproductive.              

Peg:
  Here I disagree.  I don't think Snape is one of Lupin's favorite people, but I can certainly understand Lupin not disliking him.  He saw firsthand how Snape was tormented at Hogwarts (and yes, stepping in to stop the Levicorpus incident would have been the right thing to do, but -- and not saying that it's good that he didn't -- I absolutely understand why he didn't,) and also firmly believes that Snape left the DEs at great personal risk to work for the Order.  It is possible to dislike someone's personality while still feeling compassion for his circumstances and admiring his courage.  That adds up to neither liking nor disliking the person, in my book.
   
  I do find Lupin's immediate willingness to kill Pettigrew in the Shrieking Shack a bit unnerving, but I think those circumstances were so extreme and shocking to everyone involved that it's, again, while not right, understandable.  And I would imagine that, in that shocked mental state, killing Peter would have felt more like killing the during wartime than like murder.
   
  I adore Lupin.  I know his faults are many;  he is certainly weak and passive-aggressive, but I don't see how that makes him any less of a kind and good man.  I believe he's doing the best he can with the circumstances and personality he's been given.  I guess he's the adult character I relate to the most...  If he does turn out to be ESE I'll eat my words, but I find him infinitely more sexy than Snape!!! :-p

		
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