[HPforGrownups] Lupin and Sirius and being single(was:Re: CHAPDISC: HBP 29, The Phoenix Lament

[Jeremiah LaFleur]

No: HPFGUIDX 164128

> >>Dungrollin:
> 6. In ch5 p92 (UK ed.) Molly says (of Bill and Fleur) "It was the
> same last time he was powerful, people eloping right left and
> centre –" yet Lupin seems here to be an exception, holding out
> against this all-too-human reaction in times of war. Do you find
> this consistent with his character? Given the close friends he has
> lost, do you understand him wanting to keep Tonks at arm's length,
> or do you agree with Molly that he's being ridiculous? How does his
> behaviour regarding Tonks compare with Harry's later break-up with
> Ginny?

Raechel responds:
I was just rereading HBP from the beginning when something jumped out
at me in regard to this question. Yes, Lupin, continues to remain
resistant to the idea of commitment. I think this may be partly
because he has grown accustomed to being alone. In PoA he mentions
that when he became a werewolf it was only when Padfoot, Prongs, and
Wormtail were with him that he felt less wolfish and more human. IMO,
he is comfortable being alone and uncomfortable with human relationships.

However, Sirius was single for his adult life as well (before his
stint in Azkaban). In the chapter called "Will and Won't" when Harry
received his inheritance Dumbledore mentions that Sirius and Regulus
were both unmarried and childless. It made me wonder why. Especially
considering that Sirius' best friend, James, was married with a child.
Any thoughts?

Thanks.
========================================

Jeremiah:

Well, first off, I don' think that having friends who are married and
parents makes you spontaneoudly desire to pair-bond and breed. So, James'
influence on both Lupin and Sirius doesn't extend to the alter or the
bedroom.

I've had a lot of friends who are HIV+ and a few of them go through this
"tainted" period where they feel that dating and sexual expression only will
bring them heart-break because a lot of guys who aren't HIV+ will reject
them when they find out about their positive status. (And, btw, most of my
friends who are pos. get over it & choose love).  I look at Lupin that way.
He has a hang-up about having been "infected" and become a werewolf. I think
he feels nobody can or will love him the way he is. He had been in the
Werewolf "Closet" for so long and now that he's out he has to deal with
somebody like Tonks who doesn't care about the werewolf thing.

I have had my suspicions that Sirius is Gay. (lol.. ok, not really, but I
think it would be very cool if he was). Come to think of it, JKR has a lot
of single mature men. Dumbledore, Snape, Sirius, Lupin, Mundungus, Charlie
Weasley, Voldemort, Hagrid (ok, he was single until book 4), just to name
the one's off the top of my head. I woudln't think that all of them are gay
(not to mention gay and single) but maybe there's a portion of JKR's culture
that has single men being acceptable?

What I think it this: Sirius has been through a lot. He was very passionate
about the Order before LV's fall and then he was thrown in prison. He's not
in a place, mentally, to date and has stayed single. His focus is Harry's
well-being. plus, everyone thinks Sirius is a killer, so who's going to seek
him out for dinner and a movie?

Just my 2 cents.


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