TBAY: Waiting for the Last Can(n)on

[Goddlefrood]

No: HPFGUIDX 172059

During the course of the discussion downstairs Goddlefrood Elf 
had been seated on a rough wooden stool in a salon on the 1st 
floor of The George. Beside him sat Dobby. Across from them 
Lord Voldemort's red eyes glowered at the two elves.

Shortly before this scene Lord Voldemort had gone to the local 
furniture manufacturer by the name of Recliners 'R Us to peruse 
their range of armchairs. Having selected a reclining one to his 
liking he had had the same placed in his private salon at The 
George. His author had long promised him the extra legroom he 
had been craving and now it was his at last. The footrest 
extended a full three feet!

Lord Voldemort turned to reiterate the plan to Dobby: "Now then 
elf," he hissed, "the plan set in motion when you left the 
Malfoys with the full consent of Lucius can be realised ... 
finally my scheme that has been in production these seventeen 
long years will bear fruit".

"When I'm finished with Harry Potter", he went on, "there will 
be no one who dares to speak his name again whether in this world 
or the next". The cold, high laugh that followed made the two 
elves quiver with excitement, too long it had been since they 
had seen their masters' master mirthful.

"I is ready to complete my task", squeaked Dobby delightedly, 
"all this time those silly witches and wizards helping Master 
Potter have believed that I was on their side and wanted to 
help them".

"Yes", said Goddlefrood, "Dobby has been the most skilled 
Occlumens of them all, even the great Albus Dumbledore was 
fooled into believing your ridiculous tale of wanting to be 
free".

"Enough!" cried Lord Voldemort, "here's where I repeat the plan, 
just before it finally succeeds in the great tradition of my evil 
overlord forebears"". The elves knew the story well, but were as 
enthralled as ever, knowing as they did that Lord Voldemort was 
right and it would never do for the villain not to set out his 
glorious plan.

"I fooled Albus Dumbledore using Horace Slughorn's second 
doctored memory into thinking that I only had 6 Horcruxes, 
being 7 pieces of soul in total. Little did he know as he 
died that I had made 48. Why stop at 6 I asked myself, 
especially with all the loose pieces of split soul rattling 
around inside me? The most powerfully magic number is 49, 
the square of 7. However, even with that huge number I could 
not be totally confident of survival, your master Lucius was 
careless with my diary, even though he knew full well what it 
contained. Next time I see him I must be reminded to give him 
a box of chocolates".

Lord Voldemort sank into a momentary reverie contemplating as 
he was what was coming. He stretched out the recliner to its 
full extent before continuing: "We convene at Godric's Hollow 
on All Hallow's Eve having first brought the feather dusters. 
When we arrive we all tickle Harry, Ron and Hermione into 
submission. They will be laughing so hard that they'll beg 
us to stop so that they can join our crusade to distribute 
a daisy to each and every wizard and witch in this hidden 
world. With daisies in hand the wizarding world can unite 
and come out of our long imposed seclusion".

"So," said Goddlefrood, "what you're basically saying is 'All 
you need is love".

"You got it in one, Goddlefrood", beamed Lord Voldemort at him, 
"and we even managed to make some of the people in our world 
believe that I was evil when all I ever wanted was to love and 
be loved in return".

"After that I may decree that all wizards and witches everywhere 
should have a comfortable chair, and we'll have to make sure that 
cupboard over there is never opened again in case the Dementors 
ever get out".

The commotion downstairs could not dampen this glorious moment 
in the history of the wizarding world.

Goddlefrood