TBAY: Waiting for the Last Can(n)on

[Ceridwen]

No: HPFGUIDX 172077

Phlytie Elf strolled into the George just as Vexxy shot up from a
butter-beer induced stupor and staggered toward Alika. She tripped
over Phlytie's oversized shoes and flew across Shorty's table, did a
handspring off an empty chair, and landed in a heap across from 
Blinky.

"Vexxy knows the secret!" Vexxy shouted, or perhaps it only sounded
like shouting to an elf who had been immersed in butterbeer most of 
the evening. "Vexxy has just had revelation from Great Elf!"

Blinky turned her glass upside down and shook it. A lone drop splashed
onto the table. "Blinky thinks Vexxy is having too much butterbeer,"
she said, and signalled to the barman to bring her another.

"No! No! No! No! Yes! Alika must listen to Vexxy!"

Shorty groaned at the next table and held her head. Most of the elves
just wanted peace and quiet. Blinky, who had come in late, merely
sighed.

"I is Blinky Elf, not Alika. Alika is snoring in the corner."

"Alika is not snoring now," Alika staggered to the table and just
missed sitting in Blinky's lap. This only made Blinky's dog start to
snuffle. Alika usually kept some extra-special kibble just for her.

Alika couldn't find her pocket. Vexxy found an eclair and passed it to
Bianca, who siezed it and began chomping on it at Blinky's feet.

"What is special message from Great Elf?" Alika whispered.

"Snape."

Every elf in the George moaned and muttered. Every canon shot returned
to Snape. Blinky shook some cream from her foot and patted her
dog. "What does Great Elf say about Snape?"

"Snape has been dead since many years. He is always associated with
female imagery: cauldrons, vulture hats, acts like old woman 
sometimes - This is because he is an old woman. "He" is really Eileen 
Prince.  She was protected by Dumbledore, and disguised as her son."

"Tell prediction to someone awake," Alika said as she drifted off to
sleep.

"That isn't all! Listen! Eileen Prince and Albus Dumbledore had an
affair. Harry was their son!"

Blinky blinked. She reached down and patted Bianca's head
again. "Blinky thinks Vexxy hears this prediction not from Great Elf,
but from Great Butterbeer."

Phlytie Elf leaned over and gave Blinky a rakish nudge. "Did Phlytie
ever mention that Winky Elf is mastermind behind all the evil in Harry
Potter, and that one day, elves will take over the Wizarding World?"

Even Vexxy was quick enough to duck as the other elves threw tomatoes
at Phlytie.
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Ceridwen.