Changes I would make

[eggplant107]

No: HPFGUIDX 177416

Laura Lynn Walsh wrote: 

> JKR's writing was described as "Grade B" 

It's really not surprising that you should hear this criticism of JKR
from certain literary types, put yourself in their place; you've
written a precious little book that got some good reviews from other
literature snobs but your book only sold 3000 copies, JKR has sold 400
million and counting, you live in a third floor walk up and she buys a
castile in Scotland. Now you're asked to review JKR's latest book.
Lots of people can write a book that impresses literary snobs, but
those who can create a worldwide literary sensation only come around
once or twice a century.

> someone pointed out the "she said 
> / he said + adverb" problem, something
> that I had NEVER noticed before

"I have noticed that before", he said furiously, "And it is a valid
criticism of JKR's early books, she seems to have never found an
adverb she didn't like, especially in dialogue attribution. Jim Dale
said he was flummoxed by one line of dialog, according to the book
"Snape hissed" it but the sentence contained no S in it." He said
furiously "but by book 6 this was much less of a problem and by book 7
she had overcome her adverb fixation entirely". 
 
But I don't understand why an editor didn't advise her to use fewer
adverbs, especially "furiously".

> But, to me, the ideas, the plot 
> development, the complexity, and
> the characters all overshadow 
> the problem with overuse of adverbs.
 
I agree 100%, but some writers think what you say is unimportant, the
important thing is how you say it, and that is why they can only sell
3000 books and the remainders go to the pulp mill for recycling. 
Carol" <justcarol67 Wrote:

> How is "Snape sounded furious"
> any better than "Snape said furiously" 

Better than either would simply be "Snape said". I believe furious or
furiously should be used only when a character is so enraged you think
he is on the point of murder, otherwise the word looses its power from
overuse. And I think the trouble with adverbs is they all end in that
stupid "ly" and that can tire the ear after too many repetitions. 

 Eggplant