Changes I would make

[Zara]

No: HPFGUIDX 177486

> Carol responds:
> What I do find distracting in JKR's is a tendency to write
> unattributed dialogue, so that I'm sometimes unsure who is speaking.
> (Was it Sirius or James who dubbed Severus "Snivellus" in "The
> Prince's Tale"? I think it was Sirius, but I can't be sure. 

zgirnius:
Here's a doozy of the genre...who killed Charity Burbage? This was 
brought up in a discussion at CoS Forums, and having looked at the 
scene again, I can suddenly see why some readers' first impression 
was Snape.

> DH, "Dark Lord Ascending":
> "Severus...Please...Please..."

<snip paragraph long rant by Voldemort about Professor Burbage's sins>

> "Nobody laughed this time: There was no mistaking the anger and 
contempt in Voldemort's voice. For the third time, Charity Burbage 
revolved to face Snape. Tears were pouring from her eyes into her 
hair. Snape looked back at her, quite impassive, as she turned slowly 
away from him again.

> "Avada Kedavra."

> The flash of green light illuminated every corner of the room. 
Charity fell, with a resounding crash, onto the table below, which 
trembled and creaked. Several of the Death Eaters leapt back in their 
chairs. Draco fell out of his onto the floor."

> "Dinner, Nagini," said Voldemort softly, and the great snake swayed 
and slithered from his shoulders onto the polished wood."

zgirnius:
I tend to hold with my initial reading that it was Voldemort. He is 
not said to have put away his wand, and he used it to waken Charity, 
and later silence her pleas. He is angry with her. We have no 
indication Snape has drawn his wand, and under the circumstances one 
might expect an order from Voldemort if he wanted someone other than 
himself to do the honors. Yet it is true that focus moves from 
Voldemort to Snape, and only then do we get the line "Avada Kedavra", 
unattributed.