Remus and Harry WAS Re: PoA Ch 10 Post DH look

[dumbledore11214]

No: HPFGUIDX 181530

SSSusan:
I guess, though, that this would presume Remus (or anyone else who
might have been so instructed) DISAGREES with DD about the need to
keep Harry isolated from the WW until he gets his Hogwarts letter.

Imagining myself in the place of Potter family friends or Order
members at the time, I could envision being convinced of the benefit
of keeping Harry ignorant of the WW and of keeping him isolated from
his unknown past, even. If DD and others truly believed that Voldy
would come back or his followers might try to continue his work, they
might believe that leaving Harry alone was the safest thing for him,
that contacting him could actually lead Voldy/the DEs to him.


Alla:
Forget about WW for a second, all right? I can see what you are 
saying here absolutely. And even though it would take a lot of 
convincing for me, I can see being convinced of **not informing Harry 
of WW** yes.

But what harm can be in Remus doing what you mentioned upthread? Just 
contacting him as muggle friend who knew his parents?

I am not sure I am seeing at all HOW any person who considers himself 
a friend of the child's dead parents can be convinced that it is for 
the good of the child to NOT have such a friend.

In this paragraph I am not taking into consideration multiple issues 
that this person has, I am only talking about convincing him in good 
faith that this is for the good of the child.

Not ONE happy memory for Harry during eleven years ( or 9.5 years?) 
with Dursleys, not ONE. DO you not think that letters from friend 
could go a long way to create such memories?

If Remus can be convinced that this is all good for Harry, him 
staying away, I mean, I would think he is a bigger DOLT than I think 
now. JMO of course.


SSSusan:
Yes and no. By the point of this interaction, though, the issue is
that Harry is now PART of the WW, right? He knows the full story
now, he's aware of the attempt on his life & the murders of his
parents, he knows he needs to be cautious. The point of no contact
to age 11 may have had everything to do with wanting to keep Harry
safe. And I could see others buying into that. <SNIP>

Alla:

But again, if I can see how the contact can be tied into the issue of 
Harry's safety, I can see that. But I just do not see it, if those 
will be letters from a friend mailed a muggle way.

And remember those people approaching Harry in his early years, which 
Petunia tried to get him away from? No DE seemed to follow on their 
trail or something and I am NOT even talking about personal contact.

I mean, there is nothing that can convince me that Albus Dumbledore 
would not able to check on Harry and that is one sin I will not ever 
be able to forgive his character, but whatever – for others including 
Remus, let's assume that personal contact may have been dangerous for 
Harry, let's assume that even letters mailed the WW may have been 
dangerous, although those many owls with the letters from Hogwarts 
did not seem to bring any DE on their trail either, so I am not sure 
I am buying into their dangerousness.

BUT how can letters mailed the muggle way be dangerous?



SSSusan:
So let's assume we're talking about just reaching out to the kid, not
informing him about the WW or his parents' true pasts. Why DIDN'T
Remus do that?

Well, besides what I said, above, that he might believe it was the
best way to keep Harry safe if there was no contact with those who
knew the Potters, there's also the issue of what Remus would think he
would have to OFFER Harry.

<SNIP>
So here, I think, is the crux of it. Even though I was disappointed
in Remus for that, just like you were for him NOT taking that one
more step and *actually* reaching out to touch Harry when he clearly
wanted to do so, I think JKR really, really did a good job in keeping
Remus consistent. That is, I see Remus at his core as *insecure.*
Insecure, not in the sense of some I know, who're constantly asking
for confirmation of how they look, what people think of them, yadda
yadda, but insecure in the sense of doubting whether people want to
be around him, whether they want him in their lives.

Some might call this weakness rather than insecurity. And perhaps it
is. But I see it as just self-doubt, as a fear of bringing
difficulty or even danger into others' lives. He's spent a lifetime
of doubting whether he has anything much to offer besides risk and
danger. And *that,* I think, is a major part of the reason Remus did
not reach out to Harry at these various points. It's just not who he
was.  <SNIP>


Alla:

Well, yeah as I said I do know about Remus'  many insecurities, 
issues, and problems, whatever. I know and to the extent can even 
find identify with some of those insecurities myself.
The thing is – it still just does not do it for me. Does that make 
sense?

Oh, oh let's take my favorite example, SNAPE. I am sure he had plenty 
of deep psychological reasons to hate Harry. I mean, for goodness 
sake kid looks as his dead rival who won the love of Lily and not 
only that, OMG kid has green eyes just as Lily did and OMG Lily is 
dead partially because of him. Yep, let's hate the kid because of 
that. Ok, dearest, you do know that my sarcasm is directed at Snape's 
character here and not at you, yes?

Just wanted to be clear on that heheh. So, I mean, seriously speaking 
I do have a point to make her as it relates to Remus and Harry.  Me 
being sarcastic notwithstanding, those are all reasons for Snape to 
hate Harry, right? It is just all those reasons for me do not stand 
the barest test of them being rational, you know?

Get over it Snape, get freaking over it, or at least get over it 
enough for this not to be SHOWN to everybody including Harry. Nothing 
that happened in the past that includes you and Harry's parents is 
Harry's fault.

And I can say the same thing to Remus pretty much. Get over it Remus, 
Harry is not the one who was hurting you and discriminating you as 
werewolf, etc. Yes, it is hard to reach out, knowing that you had 
been hurt and discriminated against so many times, yes you are 
insecure and not sure if people will accept you.

But try to think rationally here for a second, Remus, try to think 
that the world may not revolve around your insecurities only and 
there is a boy who may need you with all your insecurities and fears, 
you know?

I mean, of course there are fewer reasons for me to shake Remus since 
he clearly does not hate Harry, but I do believe that him standing 
away HURT Harry in a sense that sympathetic adult may have been there 
for him even if only in letters.

Oh, and yes I was very disappointed that he did not write after 
Sirius' death myself and as I said yes I think JKR did a marvelous 
job with his character, it is just I want to shake him, I so do.

Now if Remus did not have any feelings for Harry, would have been 
different story, but somehow him being friends with Lily and James, I 
strongly doubt it.

Remember in PoA when Harry gets firebolt RON of all people thinks it 
is from Lupin and tells Harry that Lupin likes him? Sigh.

JMO,

Alla