Lupin's behavior (Was: CHAPDISC: DH11, The Bribe)

[a_svirn]

No: HPFGUIDX 180638

> Julie:
> "It will be better off, a hundred times so, without a 
> father of whom it will be ashamed!" does not translate
> to me as "I want to help you so that my child can grow
> up safe and secure" 

a_svirn:
No, of course it doesn't. But neither these two statements contradict 
each other. 

> Julie:
but rather as "I want to run away
> and hide from my potential pain, never mind if that will
> cause even more pain for my child than staying."

a_svirn:
That's hardly an accurate translation either. The cruel truth is that 
in the current political climate his child would have really been 
better off without a werewolf father. Lupin was both a liability and 
a danger for his family. He was trying to rectify it, by removing 
himself out of the picture. Also he was trying simultaneously to do 
something useful for the cause of good. In both cases he thought of 
others' needs rather than of his own. 

> Julie: 
> Harry knows what the pain of abandonment feels like, 
> and I don't see why anyone would blame him for losing
> his temper with Lupin. And yes, his accusations aren't
> completely accurate, and he said things he really didn't
> mean, but isn't that what losing your temper is all 
> about? It's not about rational discourse, just as words
> spoken out of fear or desperation (Lupin) aren't either. 

a_svirn:
Yes, there is that. But Harry's being rather more irrational than 
Lupin in this instance. 

> Julie:
> I'd also point out that courage isn't just a physical 
> thing. Lupin isn't afraid to face Voldemort or to die.
> He IS afraid to take a chance on loving someone, be it
> his wife, his child, or the son of an old friend. He'd
> rather avoid any intimacy, as he so often did with Harry,
> taking any choice away from that other person involved, 
> all to protect himself and avoid emotional pain. That is
> giving in to fear, and that is cowardly, IMO. 

a_svirn:
Cowardly? I'd say jaded. He certainly had every reason to be. And I 
really don't see what you mean when you say that he avoided intimacy 
with Harry. It's not like Harry had ever been interested in having 
close relationship with him. And then when Lupin came to offer his 
friendship Harry spurned him and called him names. 


> Alla:
> 
> I thought I already said it upthread, but I guess I did not. No, I 
> did not think that Lupin was a daredewil, so I guess that means 
that 
> Harry was certainly "partially" speaking truth, 

a_svirn:
Ok so you are of the glass-half-full school of thought. As for me, I 
don't like the fact that Harry was "partially" lying. And that those 
lies were particularly hurtful and monstrously unjust. 

> Alla:
but do I believe 
> that he was acting as coward in abandoning Tonks and his child? 
Yes, 
> if he loved them, oh my goodness yes.

a_svirn:
Why? He loved them, he wanted them safe, and he really thought that 
they would be safer and better without him. Even if he was wrong on 
that score (and I am by no means sure that he was) he was sincere in 
his attempt to rectify what he saw as a horrible mistake. 

> Alla:
> 
> Okay, you keep saying that it was not Harry's business as if it is 
a 
> fact. 

a_svirn:
Isn't it, though?

> Alla:
>Do you mind me asking again whose business it was then?

a_svirn:
Tonks's and Lupin's of course. 

> Alla:
Which 
> character was in the position to share those opinions with the 
> reader more than Harry was?

a_svirn:
Why should it concern me? I am not the one who writes the story. I am 
one who criticises (which is admittedly much easier).