Lupin's behavior (Was: CHAPDISC: DH11, The Bribe)

[montavilla47]

No: HPFGUIDX 180695

> Pippin:
> IIRC, the point of Harry's conversation with Phineas was to show us that
> Harry was rationalizing: he told himself that he was worried about the
> danger to his friends, but he was more worried about being different
> from them in a horrible and unique way. Now Harry perceives that 
> Lupin is doing the same thing. 

Montavilla47:
But thing that Harry was worried about wasn't an actual thing.  He
may be a bit different from his friends, what with his soul-
connection to Voldemort and the prophecy (which he didn't know
about at the time), but those aren't real differences.

Werewolfish *is* a real difference.  It's a disease which, at best,
causes you to undergo a horribly painful transformation every
month, and to worry that (because you have absolutely no control
after you transform) you will infect other people.

It is so horrifying a condition that most other wizards will shun 
you, and it is almost impossible to hold down a job if you have it.
The WW doesn't seem likely to issue disability checks, and, as we
know, the Ministry doesn't feel the need to include Wolfsbane
Potion in any WW health plan.

The *only* break that Lupin ever got was that he was able to 
attend school.  Sometimes I feel like that puts him in the 
position Eliza Doolittle finds herself in after the ball in 
Pygmalion (or My Fair Lady, if you prefer).   She laments that, 
without money or connections, she isn't fit to be a lady,
but with her world opened up by learning to speak, she
isn't fit to be anything else, either.

Had Lupin never been educated, he would truly belong with
that pack of werewolves he's running with in HBP.  But,
having been treated as a fully human wizard for seven 
years, he could be content as one again.

It seems mean to keep dumping stuff on Dumbledore,
but I feel like he treats Lupin very badly throughout the 
series.  I know he's the only person who believes in Lupin,
but--as far as we can see in the series, he really puts
Lupin in some awkward places.  

And when he doesn't need Lupin, he apparently 
drops the guy completely.

Pippin:
> Just as Harry forgot about Diary!Ginny, Lupin has forgotten that Harry 
> knows something about being treated as an outcast by his own 
> family and being viewed as a dangerous  freak with criminal 
> propensities and powers he could not control. 

Montavilla47:
To be fair, Lupin may not know that Harry felt like an outcast.  Harry
wasn't exactly talking about his feelings to Lupin during OotP--or any
time after PoA.  Had Harry come to him with that feeling, Lupin
might have been able to pass along some well-needed advice or 
commiseration.

Pippin:
>I think we can imagine
> what it would have meant to Harry during those times to know that
> he had a father who cared for him, even one who couldn't do anything
> to help him. I think that  gives Harry the right to state his point of
> view, though it could have been done more tactfully. But then I'm three
> times his age.

Montavilla47:
But Harry *did* have a father-figure who cared for him at that time.  
Harry's "outcast" feelings took place when Sirius was still alive.  Harry
wrote to Sirius about stuff that was bothering him in GoF, and he told
Sirius about feeling out of control in OotP.

When Sirius was alive, it would have been inappropriate for Lupin
to try to be fatherly with Harry.  I know many of us were hoping 
Lupin would step up after Sirius died (especially since Lupin was
being very avuncular during OotP), but Harry didn't seem to miss
him in HBP, probably because he could bask in the greater light
of Dumbledore's attention.

Pippin:
> Anyway the idea that if Lupin forgets that he is a father, the WW
> will conveniently forget that Tonks was his wife and the child is
> his seems fallacious on the order of a kid hiding his eyes and 
> supposing it makes him invisible.
>   
> Tonks didn't keep her marriage a secret. What's she supposed to do,
>  obliviate everyone who can count to nine? <g>
> 
> Lupin is not proposing to protect Harry in addition to protecting
> his child, or in order to protect his child from Voldemort. He's 
> proposing that the child won't suffer by his absence, which is absurd.  

Montavilla47:
I don't really disagree with anything here, but I did want to comment
on how strongly people have been reacting to Lupin's offer/neglect
of Tonks.

I suppose it's because there's such a Good War vibe to the series that
I don't find it so egregious for Lupin to volunteer for Operation Harry
instead of staying home to sit with Tonks.  After all, in World War II,
millions of men signed up as soon as they could to fight in dangerous
battles, leaving behind sweethearts and wives--many of whom were
*hoping* they were pregnant.

And I agree that there's not much difference between Lupin 
offering to help the Trio in September and showing up in May for
the big showdown.  Except that in one case, Harry gets mad
and starts insulting the man, and in the other, he feels happy
that Lupin is there to help.

So, I'm left wondering if this strong reaction is connected to
our feeling let down by Lupin.  I see two reasons why we might 
feel this way:

1.  We wanted Lupin to step up as a surrogate father in HBP, but
instead, he seemed pre-occupied by his mission and the feelings
it was stirring up in him.  (And the hidden turmoil of his 
former relationship with Tonks.)

2. His refusal to cheer up after his marriage robbed us of the 
happily-ever-after ending to his romance with Tonks.  She 
certainly did her part by showing up all pink-haired to 
Dumbledore's funeral, but he acts like a bad guest at his own
surprise birthday party--sulking in the corner instead of 
laughing and playing Pinata with everyone else.

Of course, this is all just speculation on my part.  It may be
that Lupin is just the world's biggest pill.   

Still, I find it curious....

And somewhat refreshing that we're so riled up over this
minor subplot.

Montavilla47