ADMIN: Rules Change at HPFGU

Wed Apr 1 04:43:32 UTC 2009

No: HPFGUIDX 186130

*Rylly Elf steps forward, pale and shaken, bearing a crisp piece of paper in her trembling hand*

"Please, fellow Elvses, gather 'round. We has received mail! Rylly is thinking this has got to be bad news. It's from, um, Yahoo!Mort. This has gots to be serious. Please listen to what it says:"

*a screen drops from the ceiling of Elfly HQ and the letter is projected for all to read*

April 1, 2009
>From the desk of Yahoo!Mort, Inc.
701 Shuttrun Deraseat
Shaddyhill, CA

It has come to our attention that your group, HPforGrownups, henceforth known as HPFGU has been imposing the following rules on your members:

- snipping of unnecessary text
- exclusion of 1 line or "me, too" posts
- proper citation for members being quoted
- limits on the number of posts per member per day
- not allowing discussion of movies, fan fiction and other related topics
- signing of posts to HPFGU

Please note that this list is not all inclusive and there may be more rules we have yet to ferret out that also voilate our vision of how Yahoo!Groups may be used. 

*Amandageist floats into the room to see what the collective gasping is about*

Since these rules clearly limit the ability of HPFGU list members to fully enjoy their experience with HPFGU, we must ask that you cease and desist immediately. From this point forward your members should be free to express themselves in any fashion they so desire. 

Sincerely,

Yahoo!Mort, Inc.

Shorty Elf promptly faints, narrowing missing the table loaded with eclairs and hot chocolate.

Zippy Elf looks on in horror. "Oh noes, the chaos that will ensue! We can't make them snips? We shall has to read their thoughts over and over again? Oh, Woe!"

"Blinky is not knowing how not to be an Elf! She is not having another job. She is not knowing how!!! Olga dog is whining that she is not getting to participate in Elfly parties and is not sneaking eclairs and other goodies."

*Amandageist hovers in front of the screen, pointing, but the shocked Elves ignore her*

"Exmoor Elf is very happy that he has not to send welcome letters to people who join and never send thank yous or new tea towel to poor Exmoor Elf. He can also have extra Exmoor cream tea everyday when I be reading posts. But... what happens to us Elves? Does he lose his friends and never get eclairs and hot chocolate again?" *rushes out, weeping, with face buried in tea towel*

Vexxy Elf bursts out, "Vexxy is hating changes, she is. Yahoo!Mort changing rules on us is rude, is ham-and-cheese fisted, is just not right, curses Y-who-must-not-be-named! 

Alika Elf is thinking that these new rules is not right. She is summoning lawbooks and wondering if Yahoo!Mort can be sued. Alika disappears behind a pile of books, turning pages with trembling fingers.

*Amandageist tries shouting at the Elves but can't be heard over the weeping and wailing*

Speedy Elf pours herself some more butterbeer, tips her chair back,
and downs it in one gulp, gasping, "Speedy Elf sees Master Yahoo!Mort ...
hic ... on the ceiling dropping water balloons on us poor .... hic ...
Elvses."  A loud thud is heard as Speedy Elf's chair tips over and she falls unconscious to the floor.

Marvin Elf wonders why all the ruckus, when the new year was over a day ago (at least from the stand point of the enchanted isle in which he lives). Amandageist would have to get up on the morning of the day before to catch him. New year's day (old style ;-))is the one day a year, as well as being to confund people, that Marvin is allowed to run around sans 
tea towel, if only for 12 hours. But, what a 12 hours they are <beg>.

Phlytie Elf looks up from his mending tea towels, leaps to his feet and promptly sticks himself with his needle. He stands there flailing around a hand with a needle, thread and a tea towel flying like flag  and asks Twisp Elf, "but Phlytie is not understanding this. We will have new ruleses to be following, right?" 

Twisp Elf shakes his head, "No Phlytie, they is taking all the ruleses away from us. Elvses will be out of a job." Twisp Elf has tears welling up in his eyes but he stands resolute, refusing to breakdown.

*Amandageist rattles the chandelier in frustration, wondering why these silly Elves won't pay attention to her.*

Phlytie pulls the needle out of his hand, and absentmindedly tries to stick it into his pin cushion, which turns back into a hedgehog and scurries out of his reach thereby causing Phlytie to stick his needle into his thigh. But that's OK cuz he doesn't notice as he proclaims, "Phlytie is going to see the Headmaster about THIS."

Kroppy Elf tells Phlytie, "Ummm, Phlytie,... ahh, YahooMort is being our Headmaster!" 

"Oh,... but we will never find new work in this economy."

Cardi Elf looks stunned at Phlytie. Then a light goes off in her eyes as she conjures parchment and quill. "Cardi Elf is not being caught out, she is writing Monster.com, Lessee 'Cute elf, will work for room and board,...'" as she slowly curls up behind the eclair cart...

Crikey Elf is thinking he is safe from Yahoo!Mort. Crikey lives far away from other Elvses and is hoping Yahoo!Mort doesn't notice him and leaves him alone.

A quiet Elf in a dark green pillowcase peers from behind the comfy chair. Zaney Elf is eyeing the platters of eclairs and thinking they are going to be demolished when the next Elf faints. "She can't be letting good eclairs go to waste," Zaney thinks. She hurriedly scoops up the platter and retires behind the comfy chair to wait until the catastrophe is over.

*Amandageist drops water balloons among the distraught Elves, hoping to get their attention*

Kelley Elf is thinking this cannot be true. But even if it is, Kelley Elf has weathered many storms, since she is the most senior of Elvses. She is hoping the other Elves will calm down and stop endangering the eclairs.

Corbie Elf looks up from the parchment she is writing and adjusts her glasses with ink-stained fingers. "I is trying to get work done over here! What is making all this commotion and why is Amandageist making my work all wet?

Penapart Elf has been very quiet in her corner, hand clapped over her mouth in horror. "Is this being the end of HPFGU as we know it?" Being a Practical!Elf, she is wondering if the list members will have a party. Perhaps they will have eclairs and hot chocolate and let the Elvses come and join in?

*Amandageist throws one last barrage of water balloons in vain. The Elves are still too distraught to pay any attention to her. She wafts out of the room, hoping they will come to their senses.*

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