Ron WAS: Re: DH reread CH 4-5

[sistermagpie]

No: HPFGUIDX 186273

> > sartoris22:
> > 
> > But in HBP Harry bluntly tells Ron that he lacks confidence in Quidditch, which prompts Ron to ask, "Are you calling me mental?" If Harry can show concern for Ron's lack of confidence concerning Quidditch, then why can't he show the same concern for Ron's lack of confidence concerning the twins. Hermione shows that concern. Admittedley, Quidditch is important to boys, but so is bullying. Harry hates Malfoy because he's a bully, but accepts the twins bullying Ron. I'm sorry but that troubles me. I think that Ron is a better friend to Harry then Harry is to Ron, and Harry's attitude about the twins is only one example of it.
> >
> 
> Alla:
> 
> I am replying to your post, but also in general to the thread, so if there are lines here that seem irrelevant, please disregard. :)
> 
> Do we really want to make it a context of who is the better friend to whom?  I can sure remember several instances of Harry acting like a jerk to Ron, but to me **nothing** what Harry did ever tops what Ron did when he left him and Hermione. Frankly, to me it was akin to betrayal. 

Magpie:
I don't think we could ever really say who was a better friend, since everybody's going to define the terms to suit the person they think is better. But I will say that Ron's role as friend is to be consistently supportive of Harry where Harry's role to Ron does not involve that. Ron's doing what he's not supposed to do when he leaves Harry or when he accuses Harry of putting his name in the Goblet. But for the most part Ron's role is to back Harry up and he does it constantly. 

By contrast, this just isn't asked for Harry about Ron. When Ron's having problems the most Harry needs to do is vaguely think about how uncomfortable it is for him to deal with. Like in OotP when Ron's really having a hard time of it with Quidditch, it's not like Harry needs to be there helping him (say the way Hermione drilled Harry before the Tri-Wizard tasks). In fact, at one point Harry just snaps that at least Ron is allowed to play Quidditch, so he should be happy. When Ron has his triumph Harry isn't even there cheering him on. When Ron and Hermione quarrel Harry's mind is on how it effects him. When Ron and Harry fight in GoF Ron has to make up to Harry for accusing him of putting his name in the Goblet but Harry never has to apologize to Ron for accusing him of wanting to be Harry.

Part of this is being in Harry's head--if we were in Ron's head we'd probably be getting a lot of Ron thinking about how things effect him too. But a bigger part is I think the roles they each have in their friendship and Harry's a very high maintenance friend that gets along with Ron partially because most of the time Ron's pretty easy-going and follows more naturally than he leads. 

I remember, for instance, when we learned that Arthur was originally slated to die in OotP that I could see why JKR didn't do it because Harry is so not the giver in that relationship it might have made him come off pretty badly being best friends with someone whose tragedy eclipses his own. Harry helps people in his own way, but that way doesn't cover a lot of Ron's moments. (And of course he's really not very well-equipped to deal with Ron's insecurity issues since they mostly just make him uncomfortable.)

-m