Filk: Don't Point that Wand at Me! (you may be in this one)

[Randy]

Don't Point That Wand at Me !

Sung to the tune of
" Don't Stand so Close to me! "
By Sting and the Police

Words by Randy Estes

Old Teacher, the Subject 
Of this book's dastardly deeds.
Harry hates him so badly
Thinks Snape serves Voldy's needs.

Young Draco failed the Dark Lord
So Snape stepped in to kill.
They're fleeing, he's so close now
He blocks all of Harry's spells.

Don't point!  
Don't point that!
Don't point that wand at me!

Harry's friends were so lucky
They dodged curses left and right.
They each drank some Felix Felicis
And none were killed that night!

Hagrid's there now
He helps Harry
He's got a cut under his eye.
Hagrid asks why Snape ran off now
Harry says he watched Dumbledore die.

Don't say 				(Harmony: 
Don't say that		(Please don't say that Dumbledore's dead!)
Don't say that Dumbledore's dead!

They head back to the Astronomy Tower
A crowd formed around its base.
Hagrid sees the lifeless body
Harry wipes blood from the face.
It's no use to deny it
He's dead for all to see
Harry finds a broken locket
With a note from RAB

Don't post			(Harmony:  Dumbledore's dead for all 
to see!)
Don't post that
Don't post that new Theory !

Maybe Dumbledore's not dead yet
And he set the whole thing up!
Snape really works for him now
They'll catch Voldy like a sitting duck!
You're crazy!
We saw him!
Snape's killed the headmaster now.
He had to help young Draco
He made the Unbreakable Vow!

Don't post		(Harmony:  Dumbledore's dead for all to see!)
Don't post that
Don't post that new Theory!	

Hold on now
Wait a minute!
Something does not seem right.
When you get hit by Avada Kedavra
You don't fly off like a kite!
That potion that he drank
Maybe it's the Draught of Death
Maybe Dumbledore is faking
We can't be sure just yet!

Don't post		(Harmony:  Dumbledore's dead for all to see!)
Don't post that			(Dumbledore is History!)
Don't post that new Theory!	

Just ask Kneasy or go find Pippin
I'll call Ableforth's goat!
What do you think really happened?
And who left that mysterious note?
They had a trial at Accio
To determine Severus's guilt
They said that he was innocent
A good defense was built.

Don't post		(Harmony:  Dumbledore's dead for all to see!)
Don't post that			(Dumbledore is History!)
Don't post that new Theory!
	

The Old Crowd's got the answer.
They've read this seven times.
It's obvious it was the butler
He must pay for his crime!
Keep Reading!
Keep Posting!
We'll work together here
We'll have the whole thing solved
We'll post it all this year!

I know you think we're crazy
We're really quite bizarre
To spend so much time discussing
That book by JKR!

Don't post			(Harmony:  JKR is RAB!)
Don't post that			(JKR is RAB!)
Don't post that new Theory!