Best of Enemies. pt. 2

[Barry Arrowsmith]

Two more of the anti-Harry faction, although to be fair one of them is 
quite possibly an involuntary recruit. Still, that doesn't excuse how 
useless he is. In fact both of them are.
Depressing, isn't it?

Quirrell.
A one book wonder, though instrumental to the overall plot arc in that 
he's the medium that allows Voldy to appear, posture to no great effect 
and then push off to Costa Adriatica where he can brood and hatch his 
plans for a come-back (again) - leaving us with information, hints and 
pointers that lay the ground-work for future action and revelations.

It's never made clear just how Quirrell became carrier to the Voldy 
parasite, though in his natural state he's unlikely to be a Voldy 
supporter, given his little speech where he says that he used to have 
"ridiculous ideas about good and evil" until Voldy put him straight.  
Certainly at the climax he's gung-ho for Voldy, but he would be with 
old Snake-eyes perched above his back collar-stud. What background 
information there is comes from a possessed Quirrell (hardly unbiased) 
or courtesy of Hagrid, a dodgy source IMO. Not that he deliberately 
lies, but he's given to hyperbole and over-simplification, and in this 
instance reporting hearsay, which can mislead all too easily.

For sure Quirrell's not a brilliant wizard - he whitters on about how 
much he's been punished for letting the side down, not performing to 
Voldy's exacting standards, etc. and he's not impressive in PS/SS 
either - or at least not when it comes to Harry. Getting in and out of 
Gringotts without being caught was a nifty bit of work though, no 
matter that we're left in the dark as to how and whether it was 
master-minded and guided by His Evilness esconced amidst his dandruff 
while he did it. Maybe not; he shook hands with Harry in the Leaky 
Cauldron without any noticeable effect on either of them, so maybe 
Voldy was parked as left luggage on a regular basis.

I've never been very happy with the plot details associated with 
Quirrell in that first book.
A marked speech impediment - which if we give credence to Flitwick's 
homilies would negate accurate spell casting - so how could he teach 
effectively?
A troll in the dungeons - where the hell did that come from? Is there a 
home delivery service? Perhaps there is - he gets another to help guard 
the Stone. Maybe it was "Buy one, get one free."
Hexing the broomstick. Huh. Not impressed. Classic demonstration of a 
conflict of goals. Ignore Potter - just get the damn Stone. Why's he 
farting around playing silly buggers  with an 11 year old? A case of 
the 6 P's needing to be read, learned and inwardly digested through 
clenched bowels, IMO. And anyway, can't he do better than 
broom-nobbling? He's supposed to be an expert on Dark Arts, isn't he? 
So why not use 'em?

But nothing demonstrates his ineptness more  than the final showdown. 
Dear, oh dear. What a cock-up. Look, he's supposed to be a wizard. So 
why not act like one. Wizards use magic, so why didn't Quirrell? What's 
it got in it's pockets? Cheated, it did my Precious - cobblers; no need 
for this undignified grappling, grabbing nonsense, all it needed was 
Accio Stone! or Imperio! or even Petrificus Totalus! and Voldy wanders 
on his way rejoicing. 3/10. Must do better.

I've no real objection to the Good Guys winning,  but I do get restive 
when the baddies are total incompetents. Unfortunately there's evidence 
that Quirrell isn't the only one facing young Potter.

There's Mafoy Jnr.

Pretty much a stereotype common in school-based tales, Draco's the 
snotty, sly, selfish, supercilious, spoiled sneak, with his own little 
gang of none-too-bright followers, an untrustworthy father and destined 
to end each episode gnashing his molars in frustration - though this 
being HP, with a traditional end of book wind-down on the Hogwarts 
Express, it's usually a case of him and his chums chewing British Rail 
carpet instead. Supposedly a prime example of the pureblood superiority 
conceit centred on Slytherin House, he's more petty irritant than 
potential nemesis. Salazar must be turning in his crypt.

We've  now read our way through five years of Harry's academic career. 
So tell me, how many times has young Malfoy managed to hit Harry with a 
spell? Twice that I can find, first in a 'formal' duel and second time 
with a trip jinx at the rout of the DA. Both times sanctioned by 
authority. If this is the best that a nasty Slytherin DE off-spring can 
manage, then it's a poor show, that's all I can say.

In fact, for all his gritted teeth animosity and muttered threats, 
Malfoy and his little clique have been disappointingly inactive on the 
spell-throwing front. Hermione's incisors, a leg-locker for Neville - 
very tame stuff. All mouth and no trousers, that's our Draco. Supposed 
to be one of the brightest student in the year, too - or so we might 
assume from his exchange with Lucius in the evil artifact emporium in 
CoS. Surely he knows some nasty magic he can wreak on the Trio?

It  all seems very odd, there's a role-reversal whatsit in evidence. 
Hermione, supposedly the voice of sanity and reason in the student 
body, breaks more rules than Draco would dream of doing. No plots, 
schemes, thefts, lies or persistent rule breaking from the House of ill 
repute, it's all coming from those on the side of the angels. Malfoy is 
mostly redundant, all the Slytherins are, even though they are mightily 
pissed off at how Harry always seems to land on his feet. So when're 
they, and specifically Draco, going to do something about it? Where's 
the cunning that Slytherin is renowned for? Break a few rules - and 
break a few heads too, while you're at it. Otherwise it'll make one 
wonder just what Malfoy and Slytherin are there for.

Kneasy