Nothing But Spoilers, of course

[Amy Z]

<spoiler space>
Upon a time a Surrey lad
Learned he was a wizard, like his dad.
He went to school and learned to spell
And fight the bad guy very well.
At age sixteen he headed back
And so we now know myth from fact:
His DADA teacher was (excised)
His team in Quidditch (blank) the prize.
He got (some number of) OWLs
And learned a lot of (something) spells.
The Half-Blood Prince, that man of mystery,
Was (whatsisface); that much is history.
Harry traveled with (Professor X)
And put on (whosit) a risky hex.
Did someone die?  Did someone sicken?
Stop this crazy game of chicken.
Who kissed whom, or were they celibate?
Are you still here just for the hell of it?
Do not risk another look,
Turn this off and read your book!
</spoiler space>

I asked:

> << Where is everyone getting Regulus's middle name from? >>

And Rita replied:
 
> JKR has established by example that in her world, wizarding folk 
give
> the oldest son the father's name as a middle name, the oldest 
daughter
> the mother's name as a middle name, and another son the uncle's name
> as a middle name (Ronald Bilius Weasley after Uncle Bilius who saw a
> Grim and died). Sirius's Uncle Alphard was Regulus's Uncle Alphard.
> QED.

Not QED, just plausible.  (You don't even need the Potter and Weasley 
families to illustrate the practice of giving the eldest their 
parents' names and younger siblings aunts' and uncles' names; Muggles 
tend to do the same thing.)  

It's not as though we even need to know Regulus's middle name; his 
having been a Death Eather with the initials RB is quite sufficient 
to establish a probability that he's the note-leaver.  I just like to 
know whether we're talking about speculation or a known fact.

Rita again:
 
> In any case, I don't understand how Hermione only got 11 OWLs when
> Bill and Percy got 12. She has been established as an unusually
> outstanding student that doesn't come along as often as every 4 
years.

I wondered the same.  Maybe Percy and Bill took a subject that is no 
longer offered.  Or maybe it's JKR's notorious innumeracy again.

However, one thing JKR is fantastic at is weaving mysteries, so I'm 
going to defend her on this point:

>  I remain irritated at the Tonks
> red herring 

Red herrings are irritating by nature, but what would a mystery be in 
which every great big glaring clue actually led to something?  
Sometimes the Christie character with a guilty secret is neither 
murderer nor blackmailer, but simply adulterer.  Sometimes a mouth 
organ is just a mouth organ (speaking of clues we need to follow up 
on--Horcrux, anyone?).

> but WHERE
> DID HER CLUMSINESS GO? Tonks can't walk down the hall at 12 
Grimmauld
> Place without tripping over an unbrella stand and wakening Mrs 
Black,
> but she can jump off a moving train at Hogsmeade and land on her 
feet?

Good catch.  Kind of makes you wonder if there's still a Tonks-
connected twist coming along, doesn't it?  It could be a Polyjuice!
Tonks, or she could be Imperius'd.  Everyone knows being under 
Imperius makes you much more coordinated.  <<--SPECULATION ALERT.  
HUMOR ATTEMPT IN PROGRESS.  DO NOT TAKE LITERALLY OR SEARCH LEXICON 
FOR EVIDENCE.

Or maybe it's being in love that makes you more coordinated.

> Can some combination of SAD DENIAL and WOLFSTAR result in 'Tonks' is
> Sirius using Polyjuice?

Aha!  S/R lives!

:-D
Amy Z C

---------------------------------------------------------------------
  "We've risked a lot to help Hagrid out, but after all--Aragog's 
dead.  If it were a question of saving him--"
  "--I'd want to go even less," said Ron firmly.  "You didn't meet 
him, Hermione.  Believe me, being dead will have improved him a lot."
                                           --HP and the HBP