What's in a Patronus?

[Barry Arrowsmith]

--- In the_old_crowd at yahoogroups.com, ewe2 <ewetoo at g...> wrote:
> What's in a Patronus?
> 
> What indeed, eh? Silmariel and Ewe2 present the theory of Narcissa!Tonks and
> daddy dragon Snape.
> 
> Basic Assumptions:
> 
> 1. We assume Narcissa!Tonks.  
> 2. We assume either that Molly is (a) inadvertently backing up Narcissa's
>    cover or (b) is actively involved. 
> 3. We assume that DD knows what's going on.  
> 4. We assume Snape knows about Imposter!Tonks as well.
> 

Good oh.
Comprehensive and nicely detailed - but wait! The half is not yet told!

Admittedly Narcissa!Tonks is a tempting construction, all sorts of
entertaining repercussions could flow from it - SHIPs (if you're into that
sort of thing), BANGs, devious doings among the DEs and DD doing a
touch of the Nelson's by turning a blind eye to a dyed-in-the-wool DE
supremacist hausfrau clomping round his beloved Hogwarts.

See, this is what Jo wants you to think, so one should sniff the breezes
for the subtle tang of Clupea harengus radiating light at 650 nm.

So, a few questions -
How come Cissy is hugger-mugger with the inner-most circle of the 
Order? She'd have to be if Molly, Snape and DD are aiding and abetting.
They'd know that all she cares about is Draino, Harry comes nowhere on 
her list of priorities. She'd happily wipe out Hoggers and all who sail in 
her to keep her obnoxious offspring safe.  She's shown no indication of
repudiating Voldy's masterplan of "Me for King!" 
Why should they trust her?
Snape is already irrevocably bound by the UV. What could Cissy do that 
Sevvy can't?

I agree that Tonks looks dodgy, but IMO it's worth bracketing Cissy with
a couple of other suspects.
First - Andromeda Tonks; Nympho's mother, married to a Muggle and so
anti-Voldy and pro-Harry. There'd probably be a family resemblance too,
so  Polyjuice,  with all its drawbacks (time-limited) may not be required.
IIRC Jo said (yet more of those bloody hints) that in book 7 we would 
meet a member of the Order that  we'd 'sort-of' met before. 
Andromeda would be a logical possibility; Cissy I'd rate as, well, maybe 
the author had a funny turn.

Secondly - just because Tonks is of the lumpy-front persuasion, it does
not automatically follow that whoever is impersonating her can't be a 
bloke. Grabbe and Coyle have used the trick, maybe there's someone
else who wants to show their feminine side. Now who do we know who 
has already trod the transvestite path in OoP, who Apparates out in HBP
only for 'Tonks' to appear from round the corner shortly after? 
Dear old Dung. A replay of his 'watch over Harry' assignment perhaps?  
"He's probably in London already" says 'Tonks'. 
Ha! Pull the other one, Harry. He could be standing right in front of you.

Kneasy
who loves twisty theories