FILK: A Dumbledore Kedavra

[Caius Marcius]

A Dumbledore Kedavra (DH, Chap. 33, 35)

To the tune of A Little More Mascara from Jerry Herman's La Cage Aux 
Folles

You-Tube performance

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sSisCkkPSL4

THE SCENE: DUMBLEDORE'S office, as he confirms that SNAPE is truly 
DDM.
 
DUMBLEDORE:
Like a fool I was sorely tempted by the ring of old Marvolo Gaunt
Bringing Ariana and my parents back was a thing I dearly did want
With some dim deviation `twixt reckless enchantment and churlish 
complaint 
I find I'm attended by Severus after a mighty curse made me faint
He reports that a jinx he has trapped in my hand must eventually 
spread
But I tarried too long, and I can't buy more time, and in months I'll 
be dead
So the Dark Lord, you see, is now at my mercy

..

When hexed by a not-too-nice ring, so I've got only a year before I'm 
gone
I'll do the self-sacrifice thing, and put a Dumbledore Kedavra on.

SNAPE:
We're soon to lose the Ministry, and Voldy will make himself the 
Hegemon.
I'll put you out of your misery, and put a Dumbledore Kedavra on.

BOTH:
And it will be flash of green! Tower fall! Phoenix flight!
And then a funeral with much ado 
'Cause when I/you my/your maker meet, daisies push, bucket kick
You'll/I'll be in good graces with good ol' You-Know Who! 

SNAPE:
When Bellatrix comes to call with a witch or two
And the Dark Lord picks Draco to be his pawn 
We'll pull off the old switcheroo 
And wham! We will bamboozle DE spawn!

DUMBLEDORE:
Sure as the Cannons finish last 
I'll end with a Canonic blast
And put a Dumbledore Kedavra on.

BOTH: 
And it will be portraiture! R.A.B.! Marble tomb!
You/I won't have to break your/my Vow, you'll/I'll save Draco's soul 
'Cause ev'ryone's thunderstruck, flabbergast, woebegone
When Albus gets blown away, and Snape's on a roll!

SNAPE:
When all my fans have completed the Half-Blood Prince,
They'll have to wait two years till the next book's read.

DUMBLEDORE:
We'll leave them with hardly any hints
And literally we will knock them dead!

By your AK, I'll not be hurt

SNAPE:
I give to you a nod that's curt
You won't compose your epitaph 

DUMBLEDORE:
But we will get the final laugh 

SNAPE:
I may have loathing on my face. 

DUMBLEDORE:
Your name will be in deep disgrace 

BOTH:
But Potter must get the tiara, 
And so our Dumbledore Kedavra's on.
 
Flash of green! Tower fall! 
Portraiture! R.A.B.!...On! Portraiture! R.A.B.!...
Phoenix flight! Marble tomb!
Thunderstruck, woebegone, on! Thunderstruck, woebegone, on!

    -	CMC

HARRY POTTER FILKS
http://home.att.net/~coriolan/hpfilks.htm