[HPFGU-OTChatter] Re: Tom Swifites Defense of Magical Humor

[Doreen]

                         Ministry of Magic
               Bureau for the Defence of Magical Humour
                           3 March, 2001


  Dear Ms. Crustum:

  Thank you for you submission of 3 March.  However, The Department 
  must inform you that your "Tom Swiftie" was not written in proper 
  form. Please note that canonical "Swifties" *must* adhere to the 
  following formal structure:

  "<statement>," <name> <said, asked, inquired, implored, etc.>, 
  <adverb>.

  In your initial submission, '"The mirror in the Boy's dorm always 
  seems sad," Harry reflected.' lacked the obligatory adverb, and 
  should, accordingly, be rewritten thusly:

  "The mirror in the Boy's dorm always seems sad," Harry said, 
  reflectively.

  Failure to mend your ways in the very near future will result in 
  removal of the "W" key from your keyboard, and we all know how 
  traumatic *that* can be.

                               Yours Retentively, etc.

                               Anal P. Lardbhottom
                               Department of Canonical Swifties


  To Morsus Crustum 

  I say we stinkbomb the office of DMH ... what do you think?

  Doreen, who makes note of the corrected version of the Tom Swiftie, and keeps both versions, just in case the original version, with its errors, may be worth some big bucks some day. 

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