[HPFGU-OTChatter] Re: guys being asked to help

[Sheryll Townsend]

--- davewitley <dfrankiswork at netscape.net> wrote:
> --- In HPFGU-OTChatter at y..., "pippin_999"
> <foxmoth at q...> wrote:
> 
> > This could be one  of those gender communications
> gap things: 
> > men don't pitch in before they're asked because
> that would be a 
> > negative comment on your competency. Sometimes it
> works to 
> > redistribute the tasks as a whole rather than try
> to get them to 
> > "help".

I read that to Andy last night. Now he thinks he has
reason for not helping. His response was, "Yeah,
that's it, she's got it right." What was I thinking
him when I read that to him? <g>
> >
> I think dropping us in at the deep end and letting
> us mess up can be 
> quite useful too.  Years of being at home with the
> kids while I was 
> out at work left Ruth a far more efficient home
> worker and child 
> minder than me.
> 
> When I have to do something it's painful for her to
> watch me trying 
> to find the things she has put away, get out the
> stuff organised to a 
> fine pitch in my absence etc.  So she has trouble
> not just taking 
> over because it's easier in the short term.
> 
I know what it's like for her, David. I sometimes have
to stop myself from giving that exasperated sigh and
saying, "Oh here, let *me* do that" for the sake of
speed.

My pet peeve is when Andy will sort of do something to
help and then think he's done me a great favour. Like,
he'll wash most of the dishes, but not the pan on the
stove and the coffee pot. In my books, if I still have
to get up and wash *any* dishes, I'm still doing the
dishes. It's not helpful to me if I still find myself
standing in front of the sink. :)

On the other hand, this is guy who says not to use the
dishwasher often as it's hard on the electric bill.
But anytime I'm away for a weekend or more, he uses it
constantly!

Sheryll, who would give you a serious rant, but it's
too early and I'm suffering a lack of coffee (had to
wash the pot before I could make some <g>)

=====
"We need to be united and strong. We'll have losses and scares, sure. And you'll be there for each other, helping each other through the bad times."
 blpurdom - Harry Potter and the Psychic Serpent, Chapter 26

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