Hot off the Presses (Political but not OT)

[Ebony]

No: HPFGUIDX 5463

Hi Joywitch and all:

*Please* post this to ff.net ASAP!  This was too funny... although 
I'm sure G.O.P. Harry Potter fans would probably say that wizarding 
society is perhaps very conservative.  :)  Though the prevailing 
weirdness of this year's Super Tuesday does make a case for wizard 
interference.  I'm surprised there wasn't a full moon!

Just got home for the first time in weeks before 8 p.m.--the pavement 
pounding and door-knocking is done up here.  Our thoughts and prayers 
are all with Heidi and the other millions of Floridians under the 
microscope right now.  I've been on the Tallahassee phone lines and 
online every second I could spare... because I *knew* that if the 
1998 FL gubernatorial election had been taken more seriously by all 
voters statewide, this weird Super Wednesday would not have occurred.

Not much of my lesson plan got done today, I'm afraid--wait a minute, 
I take that back.  This brought history to life, as I'm sure a 
million teachers nationwide explained to almost one hundred million 
children *how* someone could win the popular vote and perhaps lose 
the election.

I also have to say that I *loved* Aberforth's Goat's (Mike Gray) post-
Hogwarts election scenario.  I think that an adult Hermione and 
Hillary Rodham Clinton would get along very well.  :)

Rita, happy belated birthday and many more!  Also a second round of 
heartfelt congrats to Penny--isn't it cool to know whether or not 
you're having a boy or a girl?  This way, shopping and naming are 
much easier.  Let us know when your shower will be--as hard as you 
work around here, I'm sure the group would love to do something nice 
for you.

Well, that's enough of politics for now.  Next post--Chapter 18 
summary and Ollivander character sketch.

--Ebony

--- In HPforGrownups at egroups.com, "Joywitch " <joym999 at a...> wrote:
> THE DAILY PROPHET
> 
> by Joywitch M. Curmudgeon, D.P.'s Washington correspondent
> 
> SALEM, MA, Nov. 7 – U.S. Minister of Magic Ralph Q. Hedge
> continued to refuse what he called an "unprecedented" number
> of requests to interfere with yesterday's muggle elections. 
> Minister Hedge stated that "As every witch and wizard knows, we
> have a strict policy of non-interference in muggle affairs.  It is 
> only in the direst of life-and-death emergencies that we would ever 
> even consider intervening in any way with such mundane matters as 
> which muggle governs the nation.  I have received a tremendous 
number 
> of owls today, and I know that many wizards, and particularly many 
> witches, are distressed that the muggles seem to have chosen to 
take 
> a particularly large step backwards in time, without even using a 
> time-turner."   
> 
> Speaking from the new ministry headquarters located behind The 
> Witches Brew, a popular pub in this traditional center of American 
> magical activities, Minister Hedge added, "Nevertheless, while
> the Bush victory is likely to result in an increase in the 
political 
> power of the fundamentalist, right-wing, magic-hating segment of  
> muggle society, there is no reason to believe that this will in any 
> way facilitate the return of the Reign of Terror or of Lord 
> Voldemort."
> 
> Dissenting voices include Muggle Affairs Directorate (MAD) Chairman 
> Jack Weasley.  Weasley argued that "since [American] witches and 
> wizards have to live here [in the U.S.] too, and will suffer 
unjustly 
> from the divisive, bigoted, magic-hating nutcases who are likely to 
> receive appointments in the new muggle government, there is ample 
> reason for Ministry intervention.  A Bush victory will set back the 
> cause of improving Muggle-Wizard relations and pave the way for the 
> return of the Dark Side.  Now, today, is the time for the ministry 
to 
> act.  The muggles are currently recounting the Florida vote; we 
could 
> simply change a few thousand ballots and Gore would win the state.  
> After all, he won the popular vote, so it's only fair.  Besides 
> which, we would only be making up for the many thousands, if not 
> millions, of muggle votes which were influenced by the illegal and 
> immoral use of the Imperius Curse by a certain unnamed Wizarding 
> Society."
> 
> Not everyone is dismayed by the results of the muggle election.  
Jim-
> Bob Malfoy, the Texas wizard oil baron and president of the 
Slytherin 
> Society told reporters that "We are quite pleased by the muggle 
> election results.  We in the Slytherin Society feel that George W. 
> Bush is our kind of guy, and we look forward to the next four
> years."
> 
> 
> Note: This article is being distributed through the World Wizard 
Web, 
> due to the current OUTRAGEOUS price of 35 galleons for owl delivery 
> of the Daily Prophet.  The author urges readers to express their 
> concern over the high price to D.P. marketing manager E. Eggplant, 
> who must be feeding his owls caviar to justify this high price.