More From the Daily Prophet

[John Walton]

No: HPFGUIDX 5465

THE DAILY PROPHET

by our Special Correspondent in New York, a small furry-nosed wombat named
Bruce.

Dateline: New York

As already reported by our Washington Correspondent, the results of the
Muggle Election have been, like the air in a subway car in rush hour in
summer, exceedingly close. As usual, preparations for the elections to the
Magical Council of Representatives were concealed in the build-up to the
Muggle Election. Our top hack, Jerry Mander, reports that nowhere was the
election so closely fought as here in New York.

The battle here, between Truth And Consequences, NM-born Titania Klinger
(Pro-Muggle) and Babylon Heights, LI-born Rikki-tikki Lasagne, was
particularly tough. Lucretia Scarpino, Chairwitch of the New York branch of
the Wizarding Department, believed "New Yorkers don't really care about
where a candidate comes from. Representative-elect Klinger showed that she
knows about issues affecting New Yorkers, including Prescription Potion
charges, education and employment for the magically-challenged and Muggle
censorship of magical texts after the repeated recent leaking of classical
wizarding novels to a Muggle publishing house. Mr Lasagne, we believe,
turned off independent and liberal voters with his flagrant and frequent
displays of chest hair."

Ms Klinger was supported by her husband Bubba and daughter Tribeca at her
victory speech last night. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you,
thank you," she said.
Mr Lasagne's supporters were less gracious during his concession speech.
"I spoke with Titania Klinger--"
"BOOOOOOO!"
"No, please. I spoke with her and congratulated her on her victory--"
"BOOOOOOO!"

Ms Klinger's campaign spokeswizard, standing in front of a large glittering
pink banner saying only "TITANIA", enthused "We're thrilled for New York and
Representative Klinger, and we just know she'll do a fantastic job."

Pollsters now believe Mr Lasagne's political career to be verklemt. Oy vey
indeed.

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John Walton     john at walton.to    ICQ: 96203920

DON'T BLAME ME -- I VOTED FOR GORE
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