more fanfic cliches

[Blaise]

No: HPFGUIDX 707

I've added a few more at the bottom of this list.  

- Ginny confesses her love for Harry/Draco/Neville in her diary
- Harry dates Cho, who cheats on him, leading him to find true love 
in Hermione or Ginny, depending on the author's ship
- Ron, Hermione, and shooting stars (that one I don't get, but it's 
really common!)
- Harry Potter and Survivor (this has been done WAY too often--oh 
wait, once would have been way too often!)
- Snape dances to Britney Spears (also way too common--shudder)
- Snape and McGonagall fall in love
- Harry has a secret twin, also still alive
- Lavendar gives Hermione a makeover
- Hermione goes to another school dance and finds true love
==========
- A new girl (usually from America) plays matchmaker, and whoever 
isn't with Hermione ends up with her
- Hermione undergoes a complete personality change... I've seen her 
written as everything from CA valley girl airhead to school slut
- Harry undergoes a complete personality change, transforming from 
bumbling adolescent to Don Juan
- Plot? What plot? (about 70% of the content of FFnet)
- *Badly* done stream of consciousness interspersed with bubble gum 
pop lyrics (Hermione identifies with Christina 
Aguilera's "Reflections" and Harry identifies with Britney 
Spears' "Lucky")
- Sirius' long-lost love child becomes an acquaintance of the Three
- Hermione is actually friends with Lavendar or Parvati
- None of the major plot elements are even *mentioned*... nothing of 
the upcoming war
- Major plot elements are horribly bungled, ending with a *horribly* 
written fight sequence... several of these have had me on the floor 
screaming with laughter
- Hermione commits suicide when Harry or Ron tells her they just want 
to be friends
- Hermione sacrifices her life for Harry, Lily-fashion
- Harry goes to live with Sirius, whose name has been cleared
- Harry (or Harry and Ron) goes to visit Hermione over the summer and 
sparks fly
- Hermione saves Harry from the Dark Side after he has joined forces 
with Voldemort
- Harry and Ron/Gred and Forge/other co-conspirator rescue Hermione 
from marrying someone else or being kidnapped by Voldemort
- HP characters visit fanfic writers at home and clarify their 
positions on recurring fanfic plot lines
_____________

Okay, here are a few more.  I've seen just about all of the above 
many times, and am realising exactly why I only write MWPP fanfic.  

-Snape was in love with Lily at school, and the remnants of this love 
provoke him to behave in a uncharacteristically sweet and human way 
instead of being a pain in the neck.  
-Snape lost the person he loved (not necessarily Lily) and therefore 
becomes nasty and twisted.  
-Draco is secretly in love with Hermione, and this forces him to stop 
supporting Voldemort/kill himself/save her life.
-almost any story which ends in a character suicide.    
-a transfer/exchange student (usually female) arrives from America 
and charms everybody with her natural brilliance ... aka Mary Sue.  
-Dumbledore/Voldemort is actually Harry's grandfather.
-James and/or Lily appear to Harry in a dream with helpful advice.    

There is a discouragingly large number of clichés on this list
now.  
On the bright side, I've seen some of these done really well, 
especially in humorous stories, so don't lose hope.  

~Blaise.