TBAY: Superfluous Scene acronym

[dicentra63]

No: HPFGUIDX 40276

--- In HPforGrownups at y..., "random_monkey0_0" <ntg85 at p...> wrote:
> Monkey stops bawling, since it's really pointless anyway, and walks 
> over to Dicentra's ship. 
> 
> Dicentra looks at her suspiciously, which is altogether not 
> surprisisng, since she just had her can(n)ons almost stolen, and 
> growls, "What do you want?"
> 
> Monkey gives what she hopes is a snappy salute, and says, "Ensign 
> Monkey, requesting permission to come aboard, now that you've done all 
> the hard work."

"What makes you think you are fit to come aboard the intrepid GARBAGE
SCOW?" challenges Dicentra.

> "Florence is a name as random as I am, so Bertha had something to say 
> in the Pensieve," replies Monkey.

Dicentra frowns. "What else do you have?"
> 
> "There's no sinister significace to the fact that Snape said, 'I
have a whole cauldronful.'"

Dicentra begins to pace the deck. "Go on..."

> "There is no symbolism behind Hedwig, the Weasleys, Hagrid, and
Madame Pomfrey. And look, I even found this cool acronym for you.
UNNECESSARY: Useless, Needless Narrative Exercises Can be Explained as
Superfluous; Some Action Really Yieldless."
> 
> "Well..." says Dicentra.
> 
> "Please hurry," says Monkey. "My arm is tired from holding this
snappy salute."
> 
"At ease, sailor," Dicentra barks.  Monkey relaxes, shaking her arm,
which has fallen asleep.

"Let me make a few things clear," says Dicentra, affecting Captain
Bligh mannerisms.  "I'm very selective about what I take aboard the
GARBAGE SCOW.  This can(n)on, for instance." She kicks the can(n)on
marked "Harry Awakens at 4:30am."  "This one belongs here because
there is nothing in this scene that cannot be dispensed with.  It is
not rich with meaning.  It does not provide definitive clues to
anything.  It isn't even entertaining.  In short, it defies Pippin's
assertion that 'Every sentence serves a purpose, whether it's to
entertain, inform, persuade or confuse.' That's why I've taken it aboard."

"But..." the Monkey begins.

"Silence!" Dicentra shouts.  Monkey cowers.  "On the other hand, Snape
Brings Lupin's Potion is so dense with subtext and meaning you can't
wedge a knife between the cracks.  The specific meaning is up for
interpretation, but the scene is not irrelevant. It signals to the
reader that Lupin has an unusual 'condition' that a potion can treat.
It raises the question of whether Lupin has been poisoned in the later
Snape Substitutes for Lupin scene.  And 'I made an entire
cauldronful...If you need more' has neon arrows pointing to it,
saying, 'the potion is significant.'  Furthermore, Snape's awkward
demeanor and conversation fairly beg for investigation."

Monkey looks disappointed.  "But I thought this barge was for people
who were sick of people finding meaning in every little thing.  For
people who think that things should be taken at face value and not
twisted into these wild, weird-o theories that JKR obviously didn't mean."

"If that's what you think, you'll need to go find Faith in her castle,
over yonder," Dicentra indicates a large building at one end of the
bay.  "She's the one in charge of that position.  She prefers
stability to a flotation device.  As for me, you'll never find me
aiming a can(n)on at LOONy theories like LYCANTHROPE and MAGIC
DISHWASHER. Even if I don't believe they're what JKR had in mind,
they're clever, entertaining, and not a little enlightening. And I
think Florence will show up one of these days.  You wait."

Monkey thinks.  "I don't know about Florence, but if I find stuff that
really doesn't have any meaning, like Harry Awakens at 4:30am, stuff
that JKR seems to have forgotten to trim away before the final edit,
stuff that will never make it into a CTMNBN or a theory... can I bring
that stuff?"

"Bring it on," says Dicentra, grinning.  Monkey scampers away, eager
to find her first useless can(n)on.

--Dicentra, wondering if "UNNECESSARY GARBAGE SCOW" doesn't defeat the
purpose of the barge, but who will accept the acronym anyway and find
good use for it