Book Five's Almost Here! [filk]

[Lilac]

No: HPFGUIDX 44613


Book Five’s Almost Here!

to the tune _The Battle Hymn of the Republic_

Dedicated to CMC and Nicole

http://www.contemplator.com/folk2/battle.html

but listen to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir version if you can find it!

The Scene: (spring or summer, 2003) A very large crowd is standing outside a bookstore at five minutes to midnight, awaiting the release of _Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix_.

 

(A lone fan starts singing. Everyone turns to look and listen)

Mine eyes hath seen the glory of the coming of Book One

When books Two and Three came out, I read each word of them ‘till done

Book Four was such a masterpiece, JK herself outdone

Now book Five's almost here! 

 

(People start to join-in)

Glory, glory hallelujah!

We’ll have Book Five in hand soon-ah

Underneath this midnight moon-ah

Oh, Book Five's almost here!

 

(Everyone is singing now, and they sound surprisingly like the Mormon Tabernacle Choir)

She had to spend two long years suff’ring in litigation

And this drove our favorite author JKR to distraction 

We found that Stouffer’s "evidence" was just fabrication

But now Book Five is near!

 

Glory, glory hallelujah!

Over now is the gag rule-ah!

Stouffer never more will sue-ah!

Oh, Book Five's almost here!

 

JK Rowling had to work to iron out the "Flints"

and the mysteries unlock, such as what means Dumbledore’s glint

And writing chapters interesting but close to her blueprints

Now Book Five’s almost here!

 

Glory, glory hallelujah!

Please don’t tell us, "April Fool-sah!"

or it will become mob rule-ah

Please let Book Five be near!

 

(As the clock chimes midnight, JKR emerges from the bookstore. A hush comes over the crowd as they stare in amazement at this unexpected visitor. In one arm is her new baby; in the other outstretched hand she is holding a pillow with Book Five sitting on top in all its glory. The clouds part; a shaft of moonlight shines directly upon the book. A male quartet steps forward and quietly sings in four part harmony...)

 

(Slowly, with much feeling)

With a beauty just like Lily’s, JKR is carrying

Two precious new babies, one is bundled-up and drooling;

The other is our long-awaited book, so now we sing,

(Back to tempo, and loudly) "Oh, Book Five is now here!"

 

(The entire choir now sings in glorious harmony)

Glory, glory hallelujah!

And a moment not too soon-ah!

Now our speculations prove-ah!

Oh, Book Five is now here!

(Crescendo) Amen! Amen! 

(During the "amens", JKR slowly raises the book up as everyone stretches their hands towards the much anticipated Book Five)

 

~Lilac, who thinks Darrin would have liked the name "Jerry O and the Mo-Tabs" (a nickname for the MT Choir around these parts) for a band name.



 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Tut, tut --- hardly any of you remembered that my favorite color is *lilac*. 

I say so in Year with the Yeti."         --Gilderoy Lockhart, COS



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