Heartless Dursleys

[nobodysrib <nobodysrib@yahoo.com>]

No: HPFGUIDX 52794

Hi.  I'm a first-time poster (I just found this board recently, and I 
have been thrilled to read through recent and past posts!), so I hope 
I'm following all the rules and not covering previously mentioned 
info.

My message relates to the idea that the Dursleys are not heartless, 
but instead have *too much* (misplaced) "heart-ful"-ness (as opposed 
to them merely being "heartless") - mostly in how/who they blame for 
Lily's death, and also in a desire to protect muggles from the 
dangers of the wizard world.  (I also have one small idea at the end 
which may point towards the Dursleys working _with_ Dumbledore and 
thus being "heart-ful" to the wizard world):

--- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, "Carrie S" <carrie525 at m...> 
wrote:
> I think that [Petunia] did care for her sister, a little. This 
could be part of *why* the Dursley's hate wizards so much - they 
killed her sister. 
<snip> 
> Petunia can't even say James name, it's all she could do to spit 
out "that Potter". 
<snip> 
> I think [the Dursleys'] abuse of [Harry] started in a lame attempt 
to stiffle his magical ability..."for his own good". 
<snip>
<end> 
 

If Petunia truly hated Lily (before she died), then her being killed 
off would be seen as a good thing, thus she would have at least a 
little bit of good feelings towards wizards.  (ie 'wizards are 
weird/bad, but at least they did one thing right when they killed off 
my stupid sister.')  I think that instead she _was_ jealous of the 
attention Lilly received from her parents for being a witch, but not 
so much that she hated her, and that she still mourned the death of 
her sister.  Blaming Lily for her own death seems like a likely 
grieving mechanism.  ie, If Lily had not been so involved in the 
wizard world, then she would not have died.  (Petunia might draw a 
parallel between this and an addict dying from an overdose.  You love 
the person, but hate them for getting involved with a dangerous 
lifestyle that ended up killing them, and, ultimately, you also hate 
that dangerous lifestyle - and anything associated with it.)  This 
train of thought works only if Petunia did not hate Lily (or, at 
least, did not hate her before her death).

Also, since Lily grew up in the muggle world, couldn't Petunia view 
Lily's marrying a wizard and choosing to live in the wizard world as 
a family betrayal?  (Plus, family loyalty/betrayal seems to be a 
themes running through other familial relationships - Riddles, 
Crouches, perhaps the Weasleys - *if* Percy chooses to be on the 
Ministry's side in the future)  And this is a betrayal that would not 
have happened had "that Potter [boy]" not swooped in and wooed Lily 
away from the (safer, more normal) muggle world.  With James out of 
the picture, Lily might have returned to the muggle world after 
graduating from Hogwarts.  (Following up with the aforementioned 
addict parallel, Petunia could see James as the drug dealer - or at 
least the boyfriend that validated the drug-using lifestyle.  His 
differing opinions on magic would counter any of Petunia's attempts 
at having a magic-intervention.)  Really, it is that romance that may 
have cemented Lily's living in the wizard world - and thus also 
cemented her death.  

Harry has been referred to as physically resembling James.  If 
Petunia hates James and places responsibility for Lily's death on 
magic/ blames James for keeping Lily in the magic world, then 
everytime she looks at Harry she would see a reminder of the reason 
her sister died - a likely explanation for (at least part of) the 
Dursley's treatment of Harry.

back to family betrayal/ Harry following in his parents' footsteps:  
(1) If Petunia feels Lily betrayed her family by living in the wizard 
world, might she also fear that Harry would also betray the family 
one day/ follow in his mother's footsteps?  If she believes this 
strongly enough, she might prepare herself to never love him so that 
she will never be stung by his eventual betrayal.  (2) If Petunia 
feels James wooed Lily into leaving the muggle world (and also into 
her ultimate demise), might she also fear that Harry would follow in 
his _father's_ footsteps and lead a poor, unsuspecting muggle-born 
witch down the same disastrous path?  Thus, Petunia keeping Harry 
from the wizard world/ keeping him from witches would save other 
muggle families from the hurt Petunia felt when her sister 'chose 
James' and left the muggle world/ left her 'real' family.

"(2)" supports a question I've been trying to reconcile:  if (a) the 
Dursleys hate Harry so much that they are able to lock him in the 
cupboard, etc., and if (b) they don't want to have anything to do 
with Harry, then why (c) do they not just leave him at Hogwarts/ why 
do they show up at the train station, year after year, to bring him 
back home?  They are fine with leaving him there over Christmas 
break, but not prepared to abandon him completely.  

(side note: although the Dursleys appear vengeful, it doesn't seem 
likely that they would put themselves in danger and keep magic/ a 
wizard in their lives just to punish someone for having magic in 
their blood.)

It is inferred (can't find any specific supporting evidence) that the 
Dursleys do not have a way to contact the wizard world after Harry is 
left with them, so they couldn't "return to sender" the child-of-
magic/ keep magic out of their home since they hate/fear magic so 
much.  But given the opportunity to completely get him out of their 
lives, they choose to bring him back home.  Perhaps they do this 
because they are trying to keep him from developing a (romantic)
relationship with a witch.  

And if the Dursleys do have a way to contact the wizard world 
(perhaps through Mrs. Figg?) then, again, why would they not "return 
to sender" baby Harry and get magic/danger out of their lives?  There 
must be a larger reason for their choosing to keep him around.  

Possible Reason One: they must either love Harry enough to want to 
keep him away from the wizard world and out of danger.  Evidence 
points against this: if they loved him so much, why would they 
torture him?  And why would they make the muggle world so unappealing 
that the magic world is heaven in comparison?  The Dursleys have set 
up Harry's life so that he has no choice but to abandon the muggle 
world as soon as he possibly can. 

Possible Reason Two: previously mentioned: they have strong feelings 
about keeping Harry away from playing the James-role to another 
family's Lily.

Possible Reason Three: (*new idea that just popped into my head right 
now*) the Dursleys' hatred of Harry is a put-on to help make him want 
to be a part of the magic world.  After all, if I were Harry and I 
knew I was somehow cosmically linked to dangerous activity at 
Hogwarts, _and_ if I had a loving home, I might be scared enough that 
I'd be willing to drop out of Hogwarts and turn my back on magic 
completely.  (I could always see my wizard friends at vacation...)  
But the Dursleys have set up Harry's life so that Harry must choose 
either muggle- or wizard-life (black or white, no option for grey), 
and, really, the muggle-life is not an option.  I think we can all 
agree that Harry has *some* role to play in the up-and-coming 
Voldemort situation.  Could Dumbledore, with his possible abilities 
to look to the future, have communicated with the Dursleys/ set up 
the Dursely situation (perhaps preying on an already-in-place 
distrust of magic) to ensure the Harry would have a loyalty to the 
wizard world and do everything, even risking death, to save it?  

This was a much longer post than I thought it would be, but I look 
forward to any responses you have to it.

- nobody's rib