TBAY/SHIP: Romance on the Big Bang

[pippin_999 <foxmoth@qnet.com>]

No: HPFGUIDX 49147

> >"I said," Cindy repeated to Derannimer in a deadly whisper, 
"what is
> >the overriding principal of Big Bang, Sailor?"
> 
> >"If we
> >can't imagine a climactic Oscar-worthy scene in which a 
characterchooses a dramatically different path because of a Big 
Event, thenthe theory won't fly under Big Bang," she recited in a 
dead, hollowsort of voice.
> Shipping has a
> >Big problem finding a place on Big Bang.  Either it is requited 
and therefore Tew Eww to be Treww, or it is unrequited and 
therefore doesn't Bang and might even be superfluous."
> 
> 


Pippin appears suddenly next to Cindy, who starts violently in 
surprise. Isn't Pippin up there in the sky, blasting away at the 
good ship H/H?

"We're having a sort of Christmas truce, I think," Pippin explains. 
"Besides, Jim said that Hermione is repelled by insecurity and 
Harry doesn't have authority problems."

Cindy gapes. "Is he serious?"

Pippin shrugs. "I guess. Methinks it's going to take some time to 
find canon to back *that* up. But concerning the Bang potential of 
Shipping, there's another kind of bang, you know. Allow me to 
demonstrate."

Pippin attempts to hand Cindy a very suspicious-looking cigar, 
which not only smells of gunpowder but has a bright red and 
yellow ACME label on it. 

"Just a minute, there," Cindy smirks. "I wasn't born yesterday, you 
know. You aren't handing me any explosive smoking materials, 
thank you very much."

"Ah, then you admit it--humor bangs."

Cindy twiddles the paddle dangerously. "And your point is--"

"Well, it's like the exploding cigar. Our Trio protagonists *were* 
born yesterday, more or less. They're very young. They're  going 
to behave in naive ways, which will result in  serious 
embarrassment. Things are going to blow up in their faces. 
Nothing too gritty, we have JKR's word for that. But  don't despair. 
I imagine that sometime near the end of Book Seven, people will 
finally be induced to declare their true feelings as they're being 
lowered into the red-hot lava pits."

"Now you're talking!"

"And meanwhile, since mismatched pairings are much more fun 
to watch than lovers who're made for each other (at least in 
public) you've got to admit that Ron/Hermione and Harry/Ginny 
have way more comic potential than H/H do. "

"But if they're mismatched, then there's no POINT" says Cindy. 
"They belong on the garbage scow."

"Unless," says Pippin with a smile, "they have a dramatic 
life-changing revelation in which they realize that  differences are 
nothing if --what did Dumbledore say? Oh yes, "if our aims are 
identical and our hearts are open." BANG!

"Fluff!" growls Cindy in disgust.

"Think that cigar's fluffy, do you?" Pippin pokes the cigar into 
Cindy's mouth with real Bugs Bunny style.  "Captain, may I offer 
you a light?"

Pippin