[HPforGrownups] The Dress Robes Affair

[Melanie L Ellis]

No: HPFGUIDX 59801

On Mon, 09 Jun 2003 01:17:38 +0000 "Jesta Hijinx"
<jestahijinx at hotmail.com> writes:

> You know - it's so funny that you should mention this particular 
> dynamic,  because it's amazing how many adults grow up to follow this
same 
> pattern -  the hinting.  I'm in an officer position in a non-profit
group to 
> which I  belong, and over Memorial Day weekend I was at an event where
a 
> number of  people who were connected with one particular activity
wanted 
> something to  happen that they kept dropping by to hint to me about.  I
stoutly 
> ignored  them, and finally went to one of the officers for that
activity and 
> said,  "Please - keep these people out of my hair.  Hinting won't do
any 
> good; I  will not act until I get official word from you or [the other 
> officer  entitled to ask]."  I don't know why people think that hinting
is a 
> better  or less demanding method than asking right out, especially on
this 
> coast -  they seem to think it is less 'demanding' somehow.
> 
> Anyway, it is annoying in adults, and I can see where, about 
> teenaged years,  parents would want to start to eliminate it, if not
sooner.

GOOD HEAVENS, YES!!! LOL My oldest is 7 1/2, a boy, and he is the KING of
hinting for what he wants. If he's wanting something good (cool toy,
game, go to the park, whatever) he hints around at it - "Boy, this sure
is cool!" "Wow, I really like that." "You know, if I had ___ I would take
such good care of it...." But heaven forbid he's wanting to go against
something he doesn't want/want to do. He immediately reacts just like
dear ol' Ron - complaining and griping about how he won't do this, won't
take that, doesn't want such-n-such, instead of just coming out and
saying, "Mom, I don't like this, can we do ____ instead?" (Or can I wait
5 minutes to finish my game, can I tape this show while I take my bath,
etc.)

I do my best not to blow up at him like poor Molly did at Ron, but then I
only have 1 other child to take care of, and I'm not trying to shoo them
out the door to school! I do, however, refuse to play the hinting game,
and I say kudos to Molly for not falling for it herself. If my son is
wanting to have something/do something but won't ask for it, I just
smile, nod politely and agree with him that yep, it sure is cool! If he's
wanting to go against me, I weigh how much he's griping, whether thereis
an alternative, etc. I give him "THE LOOK" and will suggest to him,
"Well, what do you need to do about it?". If Molly had not been so
exasperated, she might have done the same, and given Ron that little
break to rewind, think about it, and realize that he needed to ask for an
alternative like getting help with the lace.

One last note, I agree with the poster that said that Molly probably
*did* intend to speak to Ron about his dress robe, but with the
excitement over the DEs at the QWC, and the intervening very busy week,
just completely forgot about it. I don't think she ever intended to
embarass the poor boy that badly.


Melanie Ellis
Alabama Homeschool Message Board
http://pub77.ezboard.com/balabamahomeschoolmessageboard

 

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