What you WON'T read in OoP

[rachelbeth007]

No: HPFGUIDX 61083

Keeping with the "things that won't be said in OotP" mold (meaning dialouge 
only), I've cleaned up the list and added some of my own.  Couldn't resist.  
This is too much fun.

1. From Hagrid : " Now Harry, I'm supposed to tell you this secret....."
2. "Fawkes! Stop flicking your ash on the carpet!"
3. At the Dementors : "Now give auntie a nice big kiss!"
4. Snape : "Well done, Neville! 50 points to Gryffindor!"
5. Madame Malkin : "This year the mini is 'in'!".
6. Colin Creevely, pointing his camera : "Keep moving, please!"
7. Ollivander : " For the budget minded we have the PVC model with 
simulated grain."
8. " Neville! Can't you control Trevor? There's toadstools all over the place!"
9. Ron : " That won't work, Harry. According to the Theory of 
Indeterminancy...."
10. Dumbledore : " Harry, what I have to tell you is...Arrrgggghhhh!" Body hits 
floor. 
11. Ron: "I read in "Hogwarts' a History.........."
12. Hermione: "Well it hardly matters if we miss just one 
lesson.."
13. Snape: "Thankyou." to any Gryffindor you please
14. Moody: "I was just taking a little relaxation break."
15. Arthur Weasley: "Its just some *ordinary* muggle thing."
16. MacGonagall to Moody: "Really, relaxation well that was just the thing on 
my own mind today."
17: Neville: "Harry, why do you always forget your passwords?"
18: Hermione: "Maybe he apparated into Hogwarts?"
19: Petunia: "Do you want to invite your friends to spend the summer with us, 
Harry?"
20:Snape to Sirius: "Don't worry about it; I forgive you."
21:Sirius to Snape: "I've always liked your hair."
22:Draco to Harry: "I can't help it. I love you."
23:Lucius Malfoy: "One mustn't take this pure-blood stuff too far."
24:Lily Potter to Harry: "You're adopted."
25. Prof. Trelawney: "It's just a lump of tea leaves"
26. Crabbe and Goyle: "This feast food is just way too fattening"
27. Prof. Snape: "I think I'll lay out in the sun for a bit....I could use a tan"

***
28. Uncle Vernon: "Harry, you're an absolute rail.  Petunia, fix Harry a nice big 
steak dinner."
29. Uncle Vernon:  "Pleasure to see you again Mr. Weasley. You must come 
see my new mechanical tie rack."
30. Voldemort (dressed in drag): "Hi everyone.  I'm your new DADA teacher."
31. Hermione: "Arithmancy is such rubbish.  I should have stayed in 
Divination."
32. Any Trio member:  "I guess they'll have to call us the `Threesome' now."