What you WON'T read in OoP

[zanelupin]

No: HPFGUIDX 61121

--- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, "rachelbeth007" 
<rstephens at n...> wrote:
> Keeping with the "things that won't be said in OotP" mold (meaning 
dialouge 
> only), I've cleaned up the list and added some of my own.  Couldn't 
resist.  
> This is too much fun.
> 
> 1. From Hagrid : " Now Harry, I'm supposed to tell you this 
secret....."
> 2. "Fawkes! Stop flicking your ash on the carpet!"
> 3. At the Dementors : "Now give auntie a nice big kiss!"
> 4. Snape : "Well done, Neville! 50 points to Gryffindor!"
> 5. Madame Malkin : "This year the mini is 'in'!".
> 6. Colin Creevely, pointing his camera : "Keep moving, please!"
> 7. Ollivander : " For the budget minded we have the PVC model with 
> simulated grain."
> 8. " Neville! Can't you control Trevor? There's toadstools all over 
the place!"
> 9. Ron : " That won't work, Harry. According to the Theory of 
> Indeterminancy...."
> 10. Dumbledore : " Harry, what I have to tell you 
is...Arrrgggghhhh!" Body hits 
> floor. 
> 11. Ron: "I read in "Hogwarts' a History.........."
> 12. Hermione: "Well it hardly matters if we miss just one 
> lesson.."
> 13. Snape: "Thankyou." to any Gryffindor you please
> 14. Moody: "I was just taking a little relaxation break."
> 15. Arthur Weasley: "Its just some *ordinary* muggle thing."
> 16. MacGonagall to Moody: "Really, relaxation well that was just 
the thing on 
> my own mind today."
> 17: Neville: "Harry, why do you always forget your passwords?"
> 18: Hermione: "Maybe he apparated into Hogwarts?"
> 19: Petunia: "Do you want to invite your friends to spend the 
summer with us, 
> Harry?"
> 20:Snape to Sirius: "Don't worry about it; I forgive you."
> 21:Sirius to Snape: "I've always liked your hair."
> 22:Draco to Harry: "I can't help it. I love you."
> 23:Lucius Malfoy: "One mustn't take this pure-blood stuff too far."
> 24:Lily Potter to Harry: "You're adopted."
> 25. Prof. Trelawney: "It's just a lump of tea leaves"
> 26. Crabbe and Goyle: "This feast food is just way too fattening"
> 27. Prof. Snape: "I think I'll lay out in the sun for a bit....I 
could use a tan"
> 
> ***
> 28. Uncle Vernon: "Harry, you're an absolute rail.  Petunia, fix 
Harry a nice big 
> steak dinner."
> 29. Uncle Vernon:  "Pleasure to see you again Mr. Weasley. You must 
come 
> see my new mechanical tie rack."
> 30. Voldemort (dressed in drag): "Hi everyone.  I'm your new DADA 
teacher."
> 31. Hermione: "Arithmancy is such rubbish.  I should have stayed in 
> Divination."
> 32. Any Trio member:  "I guess they'll have to call us the 
`Threesome' now."

33. Harry:  "It's okay Peter.  Everyone makes mistakes."
34. Any Gryffindor:  "Double Potions with the Slytherins?  Oh boy!"
35. Dudley:  "I don't need all this stuff.  You take it, Harry."