What you WON'T read in OoP

[grace701]

No: HPFGUIDX 61118

> 1. From Hagrid : " Now Harry, I'm supposed to tell you this 
> secret....."
> 2. "Fawkes! Stop flicking your ash on the carpet!"
> 3. At the Dementors : "Now give auntie a nice big kiss!"
> 4. Snape : "Well done, Neville! 50 points to Gryffindor!"
> 5. Madame Malkin : "This year the mini is 'in'!".
> 6. Colin Creevely, pointing his camera : "Keep moving, please!"
> 7. Ollivander : " For the budget minded we have the PVC model with 
> simulated grain."
> 8. " Neville! Can't you control Trevor? There's toadstools all 
> over the place!"
> 9. Ron : " That won't work, Harry. According to the Theory of 
> Indeterminancy...."
> 10. Dumbledore : " Harry, what I have to tell you 
> is...Arrrgggghhhh!" Body hits floor. 
> 11. Ron: "I read in "Hogwarts' a History.........."
> 12. Hermione: "Well it hardly matters if we miss just one lesson.."
> 13. Snape: "Thankyou." to any Gryffindor you please
> 14. Moody: "I was just taking a little relaxation break."
> 15. Arthur Weasley: "Its just some *ordinary* muggle thing."
> 16. MacGonagall to Moody: "Really, relaxation well that was just 
> the thing on my own mind today."
> 17: Neville: "Harry, why do you always forget your passwords?"
> 18: Hermione: "Maybe he apparated into Hogwarts?"
> 19: Petunia: "Do you want to invite your friends to spend the 
> summer with us, Harry?"
> 20:Snape to Sirius: "Don't worry about it; I forgive you."
> 21:Sirius to Snape: "I've always liked your hair."
> 22:Draco to Harry: "I can't help it. I love you."
> 23:Lucius Malfoy: "One mustn't take this pure-blood stuff too far."
> 24:Lily Potter to Harry: "You're adopted."
> 25. Prof. Trelawney: "It's just a lump of tea leaves"
> 26. Crabbe and Goyle: "This feast food is just way too fattening"
> 27. Prof. Snape: "I think I'll lay out in the sun for a bit....I 
> could use a tan"
> 28. Uncle Vernon: "Harry, you're an absolute rail. Petunia, fix 
> Harry a nice big steak dinner."
> 29. Uncle Vernon: "Pleasure to see you again Mr. Weasley. You must 
> come see my new mechanical tie rack."
> 30. Voldemort (dressed in drag): "Hi everyone. I'm your new DADA 
> teacher."
> 31. Hermione: "Arithmancy is such rubbish. I should have stayed in 
> Divination."
> 32. Any Trio member"I guess they'll have to call us the 
> `Threesome' now."
> 33. Dobby: Join me in the boycott against clothes! Wheeeee! *runs 
> around naked* Down with socks!!! 
> 34. Dobby/Ginny/Colin: I hate Harry Potter. Down with scar boy! 
> 35. Hagrid: Eep! I'm not going to get near that thing...it looks 
> dangerous! 
> 36. Voldemort: Harry...it is time you knew the truth....Dumbledore 
> never told you what happened to your father Harry: He told me 
> enough! He told me you killed him! Voldemort: No. *I* am your 
> father!
> 37 Fred and George: "Make way for the heir of Gryffindor, 
> seriously mundane offspring coming through."
> 38 Dumbledore: "No Harry, the Dursley's cannot keep you safe this 
> Summer. But I have found a distant uncle who is happy to look 
> after you. His name is Count Olaf."
> 39: Bobby Ewing: "So Harry, Hogwarts, and the whole Wizarding 
> world was just a dream?"
> 40. Wormtail: "M-master? C-could I have a different hand, 
> please? This one clashes with my robes."
> 41. Dumbledore (to Voldemort): "Tom... I am your father. *heavy 
> breathing*"
> 42. "Is it just me, or are those... highlights... in Professor 
> Snape's hair?"
> 43. Fred (or George): "Geez... go away, Percy! I've got to finish 
> this report on cauldron bottom thickness before tomorrow!"
> 44. "And our next model for Madam Malkin's House of Style, the 
> lovely Severus Snape, is wearing..."
> 45. Cedric: "What worms? I don't see any worms."
> 46. "My Lord?"
>      "What, Lucius?"
>      "My Lord, some of the lads and I got together and, um, we got 
> you a present. Just something we chipped in for to... to show our 
> appreciation."
>      "Well... I... I don't really know what to say, Lucius. 
> I'm.touched."
>      "*hands over package* It's a clock, sir. And we've got you 
> this watch as well, Lord, and Goyle, here, baked you a cake..." 
(yeah, yeah - bad Python takeoffs are my specialty)
> 47. "You know, Potter, this Dark Lord business is all well and 
> good, but all I've ever really wanted is a kitten of my very own."
> 48. Harry: "Sure Malfoy, you can have my Invisibility Cloak"
> 49. Draco: "I caught the snitch!"
> 50. Ron: "Hermione, I want to be president of S.P.E.W."
> 51. Dobby: "Harry Potter is a bad, BAD wizard!"
> 52. Hagrid: "No, I'm no so much into dragons anymore... I'm 
> looking for a nice little fluffy bunny rabbit"
> 53. Snape: "Harry, can I have your autograph?"
> 54. Dudley: "Hey Harry, you got anymore of those magical toffees?"
> 55. Rita Skeeter: "I've thrown away my Quick Quotes Quill"
> 56. Dumbledore: "You know, I'm thinking it would be much easier to 
> just go ahead and join Voldemort... I'm getting too old for this"
> 57. Fred & George: "Percy told us the BEST joke the other day!"
> 58. Sirius: "You know, I've been missing Azkaban lately..."
> 59. Sign in Flourish and Blotts "We accept no responsibility for 
> your spelling mistakes."
> 60. The sorting hat : "Gryffindore! But I wouldn't start any long 
> books, if I were you."
> 61. Trelawney: "Ah, Harry! You have a bright future in store!"
> 62. Skeeter: "In light of the newly-emerged evidence, it is my duty
> to print the following retraction..."
> 63. Snape: "50 points from Slytherin!"
> 64. Fleur: (To Ron) "I want your body, big boy!"
> 65. Harry: "Oh Auntie Petunia! There's no place like home!"
> 
> Some new ones 

> 
> 66. Scholastic & Bloomsbury: "Any part of this book may be 
> reproduced in any form by any electronic or mechanical means and 
> disseminated on the internet without permission of the publisher. 
> Adult themed fiction using the characters from this publication is 
> encouraged by the author."
> 67. Snape: "I vant to drrrink your blood."
> 68. Dumbledore: "Yes Harry, I knew everything. I am the alpha and 
> the omega; I carefully planned and executed all that has happened 
> to you; I am Ron and I am Crookshanks; I am old and I am young; I 
> am Lord Voldemort and I am Arabella Figg; I am your father and I 
> am your grandfather."
> 69. JKR in postscript: "In order to spend more time with my family 
> I will not be writing any further books."
> 70 Hermione: "**** it, let's party"
> 71. Snape: "You are right, I never wanted to be the Hogwart's 
> Potions Master. I wanted to be a lumberjack."
> 72. Lily or James: "Surprise!"



73. Hermione: "I just love fixing my hair!"
74. Harry: "My hair never sticks out."

Greicy

Greicy