[HPforGrownups] Re: Apologies and responsibility

[Sherry Gomes]

No: HPFGUIDX 139215

zgirnius:
I really like your analogy here, actually, even though below you will 
see that I disagree with your conclusion. I think it is a good fit 
for the situation in which Harry finds himself at Hogwarts vis-a-vis 
Snape...

However, Harry after the Pensieve incident is in a slightly different 
position than you in your hypothetical job. The overall situation is 
an excellent analogy. But, let's say that in the course of your work 
you have occasional access to your boss's desk. Anyway, one day your 
boss leaves and you succumb to a temptation to look in a drawer where 
you suspect she keeps personal papers. She returns to find you 
reading some really embarrassing detail of her relationship with your 
father. (This is pretty much what Harry did.) We're saying at this 
point, we would suggest you owe your boss a simple, dignified 
apology. *ONLY* for having peeked at her papers, not for the contents 
thereof. You might also choose to take this opportunity (the one time 
you do actually do have something for which to apologize!) to make a 
single attempt to clear the air between you. Along the lines of, "I 
get that you do not like my father. As far as I am concerned, that's 
between you and him. I hope that in the future we can work together 
as professionals."



Sherry now:

i can agree with you on this.  My argument was against the idea that Harry
should have to apologize to Snape for James' actions or that he should have
to admit Snape was right about James.  Of course, Harry was in shock and
probably couldn't have come up with such a clear thought as you have
expressed at the time.  But if he had said, ok, you and my dad didn't get
along but that's your business and nothing to do with me, that's a whole lot
different than something like, gee Professor, I am so sorry my dad was a
jerk to you and you were definitely right all along about him.  Of course, I
would never peek into my boss's private papers, but if I did and got caught,
I would make such an apology.  But I am an adult and have learned through
life experience that this could be a good way to ease things, even if it
doesn't change anything.  i don't know if Harry has had enough social
training to understand that.  Dudley's form of bullying would have taken an
apology as a sign of weakness.

Anyway, I can definitely agree with your hypothetical comments.  It didn't
involve Harry taking James' blame on himself.  It didn't even go as far as
to say Snape was right about James, just acknowledged that those two had
problems but it is nothing to do with Harry.

Sherry