WHEN PAM HAS BOTOX/GOODBYE WRINKLES, part 2 (LONG)

[tortielover88]

No: HPFGUIDX 133975

As Kaylee Tonks-Lupin and TortieKitten sipped their strawberry 
lemonades, Kaylee looked strangely at TortieKitten. 
"Wait a second! You never *explained* the bloody theory!" 
TortieKitten looked repentant, and replied, "I was waiting for you to 
ask, of course...but here we go." As Kaylee listened intently, 
TortieKitten put down her now-empty glass (George ran to get her a 
free refill) and began.

"Well, as I finished up HBP, closed the cover, and wiped away the 
last few tears left on my face..." Kaylee interrupted her to wipe 
away her own tears. "Yes, yes, I know...go on, Sis, go on." 
TortieKitten looked half annoyed, half amused, cleared her throat, 
and continued.

"As I was saying, before I was so *rudely* interrupted--" She was cut 
off by the return of a strawberry lemonade refill, and glared at 
George, taking the glass. "Thank you. ANYWAY," she said again, "I 
started to ponder, as many others did, about where and what the final 
Horcruxes might have been. And then, it hit me." She ducked a flying 
margarita glass from the corner, where SSSusan had had one too 
many. "NOT LIKE THAT!" she bellowed, before repeating, "And then 
it..." Kaylee shoved a hand over her sister's mouth. 

"No! You don't know what can happen when you say things like that!" 
she said, nodding to the glass shards lying on Neri and Faith's 
table. Neri was glaring back at SSSusan and Alla. 

"Fine then," TortieKitten replied. "Now, where was I? Oh yes. And 
then," ignoring Kaylee's warning stare, "I realized..." Kaylee 
breathed a sigh of relief. "It's Harry!" she exclaimed rather loudly. 
The other denizens of George's turned incredulously toward the 
girl. "What?" they yelled as one. The conspiracy theorists muttered 
in their corner.

Lowering her voice, TortieKitten continued. "I know that many people 
would probably scream at me for this repeated theory. But mine is 
different. My belief is that Harry was not *intended* to be a 
Horcrux. Instead, Voldemort's soul had been split when he killed Lily 
and James, and when he attempted to kill Harry, part of his soul 
entered Harry without either of them noticing." 

Kaylee nodded. "Sounds like you've read the 'Changeling Theory' on 
RedHen," she commented. 

"I haven't. What is it?" TortieKitten asked. She had grown a little 
louder and therefore got a few incredulous stares. 
"Forgive her, she's a newbie," Kaylee apologized. "Must have gotten 
lucky. I'll show it to you later. Keep going. I want to hear this."

TortieKitten sighed and continued. "I meant, without either of them 
noticing *since* Voldemort's soul had been split so many times that 
one more missing piece went unnoticed. Thus, if Dumbledore was 
correct in saying that Nagini was Voldemort's last Horcrux, then she 
was in fact his seventh." 

Kaylee tilted her head to one side. "Where's the canon?" she asked 
conversationally. TortieKitten grinned. "It's an inner tube! A cannon 
would sink it!" Kaylee arched her eyebrow. "Then how is it going to 
defend itself against...well, opposition?" 

TortieKitten smiled. "A squirt gun, naturally." She whipped one out 
and Kaylee read, with some difficulty, the tiny writing on it.

**********************************************************************

"The snake?" asked Harry, startled. "You can use animals as 
Horcruxes?" (SNIP) 
"...However, if my calculations are correct, Voldemort was still at 
least one Horcrux short of his goal of six when he entered your 
parents' house with the intention of killing you....I am sure that he 
was intending to make his final Horcrux with your death. As we know, 
he failed. After an interval of some years, however, he used Nagini 
to kill an old Muggle man, and it might then have occurred to him to 
turn her into his last Horcrux..." (SNIP)

pg. 306 Chapter Twenty-Three, HBP Scholastic Edition "Horcruxes"
**********************************************************************

Kaylee looked up. "B-but you're saying he made Harry into an extra 
Horcrux before he made his last Horcrux? Or something?" 
"Exactly," TortieKitten said, beaming, as though glad her sister had 
gotten the point. Kaylee sat there, mouth open. "I...I see. Very 
interesting. Now what's this other inner tube? GOODBYE WRINKLES, you 
called it..." She sipped on her third strawberry lemonade and waited 
for her sister's explanation.

"All right. GOODBYE WRINKLES. It started as a response to my original 
anagram. From there, I decided to fit it into one of my other 
theories, that Snape was killing Dumbledore as a response to his 
Unbreakable Vow with Narcissa Malfoy, and that Dumbledore was 
pleading Snape not to kill him or the trust between them." The ESE!
Snape supporters turned interested eyes toward the newcomer. Kaylee 
flushed red.

"Well, I don't think Snape is ESE!," TortieKitten was quick to point 
out, causing the conspiracy theorists to moan and groan and shake 
their heads doubtfully. And they almost had a new member! Kaylee 
laughed softly. "Then explain, Kitten," she urged.

"I believe, as many do, that Snape was looking out for number one," 
TortieKitten said, "and that when faced with the decision to break 
his Vow or to break Dumbledore's trust, he took the one that was less 
likely to kill him, and moved on." She gave Kaylee another squirt gun 
to read.
**********************************************************************
But somebody else had spoken Snape's name quite softly.
"Severus..." The sound frightened Harry beyond anything he had 
experienced all evening. For the first time, Dumbledore was pleading. 
(SNIP)
Snape gazed for a moment at Dumbledore, and there was revulsion and 
hatred etched in the harsh lines of his face. 
"Severus...please..." 
Snape raised his wand and pointed it directly at Dumbledore. 
"AVADA KEDAVRA!"
(SNIP)

pg. 595-96 Chapter Twenty-Seven, HBP Scholastic Edition "The 
Lightning-Struck Tower"
**********************************************************************
Several others looked interested now. Kaylee wondered how everyone 
could hear her sister when she wasn't shouting this time, but then 
she found that a magical microphone had been shoved into 
TortieKitten's glass when no one was paying attention. Who had done 
that?

"BLAST!" Captain Amber shouted, noticing her First Mate's gaze as she 
walked over to them. "FLORENCE SNAPE, I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS!" And she 
dashed off to the kitchen, covered in boils and gulping antidote as 
she ran.

TortieKitten

(co-starring Kaylee Tonks-Lupin)