Snape's worst memory - abuse survivor theory

[trouble_h2o]

No: HPFGUIDX 139753

I have been thinking aobut the 2 scenes we have in OoP.  The first
one during occlumency lessons when Harry used a shield charm and 
saw Snape's memories.  A hook-nosed man was shouting at a cowering woman, while a small dark-haired boy cried in the corner.

The second: Harry veiwing "Snape's worst memory" from the pensieve.
page 647 Scholastic version

..."Leave him alone," Lily repeated. She was looking at James with 
every sign of great dislike. "What's he done to you?"
"Well," said James, appearing to deliberate the point, "it's more 
the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean..."

In the first, it doesn't matter if it was his father or grandfather
is the abuser, many times in domestic abuse the child is blamed for 
just existing.  If it was his father a muggle, upset that he might 
be showing signs of being a wizard or anything, spilling milk, etc.  
it doesn't matter he exists.

If it was his grandfather, Snape is a half-blood, the son of 
someone he loathes, the problem is he exists. 

It is highly likly that his mother tried to protect him, how well 
she did we can only guess.  In a family situation when the mother 
is abused it is highly likely that the children are being abused.

Many children, if not all tell themselves, when I grow up I will
never do...  
Abused children often promise themself that they will never act 
like the abuser, but a high percentage do.

Fast forward to the incident with James:
Here we have a woman, coming to his defense.  He is being attacked 
because he exists.

It is not his worst memory because he was attacked by James, but 
he Snape lost control and acted like his abuser, when he called 
Lily mudblood.

We do not know if Snape was abused himself, but if he wasn't he 
witnessed abuse. I contend that the memories are times he acted 
like his abuser.  My reason for this is we have not seen Snape 
ashamed of losing his temper.  The shrieking shack, the near duel 
in the kitchen with Sirius at 12 Grimmauld Place.

>From personal experince my worst memories are not of my own abuse, 
or other embrassing times, but when I let myself down and came near 
to repeating the cycle on my own children. 

Merylanna's character assessment of Snape:
 <snip>Snape, in the books, seems to be the kind of guy who takes 
a good performance as lowest common denominator, and thus not 
deserving of extra points, and has no patience for slackers or 
dilatentes.  We have seen in the pensieve - and in every other 
instance - that Snape is the furthest thing from a slacker or 
dillatente one could envision - he's not setting a standard for 
his pupils that he doesn't meet himself, and didn't meet himself 
as a student. <snip> 

Shame for not living up to the promises made to one's self is 
common in many of the abuse surivors I know, including myself, 
making it Snape's worst memory.

If you accept this theory then we must look at Snape's behaviors 
through this prism.  What does the scene on the tower with 
Dumbledore mean in HBP?  Still thinking on that.

Trouble_H2O