Let's talk about Lupin - True Love at Last?

[Steve]

No: HPFGUIDX 146105

--- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, "lindseyharrisst"
<lindseyharrisst at h...> wrote:
>
> ... - What does the group think of the Lupin shipping in HBP?
>
> I contend that it is... 
> a. not foreshadowed or calculable, even in retrospect, contrary to 
> most things in the books, esp. shipping

bboyminn:

The forshadowing in the books is not that Tonks loves Lupin, but that
something is up with Tonks. We see she has lost her power to
transform. We see that she is depressed and somewhat anti-social. So,
the foreshadoing is merely that something is up.

Now, because of comments made by various characters, we are lead, or
should I say mislead, to believe it has something to do with Sirus,
though I think that's not completely untrue.

> Snapesangel continues:
>
> b. because it is a narrative afterthought, it was not well thought
> out, what good could Lupin and Tonks see in each other (over 
> being with someone else, or alone)?

bboyminn:

No, I don't think it is a 'narrative afterthought' since the first
clues appear in Chapter Four when Harry arrives at the Burrow. For it
to appear that early in the book, it seems clear the author always
intended for it to be there. IMHO

> Snapesangel continues:
>
> c. does it seem in chracter for Lupin to fall in love (and with
> Tonks)?
>
> d. Do you think it's authentic love on his or her part?
>
> I confess to having a belief he should be with another, but that 
> aside, I just don't see the point. 
> 
> Snapesangel 

bboyminn:

First, I'm not sure I trust this 'love' just yet. There is a strange
phenomenon associated with grief, where one tends to fall in love with
the spouse of the deceased. I experienced this first hand when one of
my closest friends died, and all my male friends fell in love with his
widow. Of course, that 'love' was a grief disguise desire to be closer
to the dearly departed and for some intimacy associated with my dead
friend. Fortunately, at the time, I was living far enough away that I
wasn't able to act on those urges, though, much to the amusement of
the rest of us, a couple of my friends did.

So, the point is that I'm not yet convinced that Tonk's feelings
aren't misplaced grief. Also, I think they may stem from a certain
degree of mothering instinct. Haven't you ever wondered why nice girls
sometimes fall for the biggest jerks? It's because they have an
overwhelming need to 'mother' them. (or perhaps, 'fix' them)

As far as Lupin, I think he is a terribly close off individual, both
socially and emotionally. He has the equivalent of AIDS, leprosy, and
tuberculosis combined with a figurative equivalent of 'elephant mans'
disease. He is an social outcast. I think he very much thinks that the
world is repulsed by him, and is quietly and unobtrusively grateful
for any human contact he gets. I really don't think he feels he
deserves love; I really don't think he sees himself as worth of such a
'normal' emotion. 

Keep in mind that Lupin has been this 'social outcast' since he was a
young child. I think his 'unworthiness' is very much ingrained in him,
and at this stage, while he is able to feel tremendously grateful, I'm
not sure if he is capable of feeling love. Still, with the love of a
good woman, who knows, Tonks may be able to 'fix' him. Though, the
odds are not good.

Don't get me wrong. I don't not wish Lupin's fate on him. I hope he
finds love, and lives a happy successful life, but at the sametime,
the odds are not good.

So, at this stage, I am grateful for any love that Lupin can find, but
until we see it deepen and last and until we see it returned, I'm not
ready to endorse it as 'true love' just yet.

Just a few thoughts.

Steve/bboyminn