[the_old_crowd] New Filk: How Do You Solve the Problems With the Plot Lines?

[Randy Estes]

--- fhmaneely <fmaneely at ...> wrote:

> --- In the_old_crowd at yahoogroups.com, "Randy"
> <estesrandy at y...> wrote:
> >
> > The Scene:  Voldemort sits by a quiet fire smoking
> his pipe and 
> > ponders his next move..
> > 
> > Smite Albus
> > (sung to the tune of  White Christmas)
> > 
> > I'm scheming how to smite Albus
> > Cause I'm a no good so and so
> > If Malfoy should miss him
> > Then I'll be listenin'
> > To hear
> > Snape deal him the blow.
> > 
> > I'm scheming how to smite Albus
> > With every evil plan I write
> > May his days be numbered tonight
> > And may all those kids of his feel fright
> > 
> > I'm scheming how to smite Albus
> > He never trusted me you know
> > Said I was abusive
> > Somewhat elusive
> > Made me return things that I stole.
> > 
> > I'm scheming how to smite Albus
> > With him my plans never work right
> > May old Dumbledore die tonight
> > And may all those kids of his feel fright 
> > 
> > 
> > Copyright 2005 by Randy Estes  All magical and
> muggle rights 
> reserved.
> >
> Since it is the 40th aniversary of the Sound of
> Music.....how about a 
> filk sung to tune of How Do You Sove a Problem Like
> Maria.  Change 
> Maria to Voldie. 
> How do you solve a problem like Voldie
> How do you kill man who's soul has split....
> 
> That's about all I can come up with.
> 
> Regards,
> Fran
> 

You know, Fran, I started to write this song, and I
kept looking at the words.  The words just jumped out
at me and took me into another direction.  I scampered
off after the words like Scabbers sneaking off from
the kids when Lupin became a werewolf.  So here is
what I came up with. I hope you enjoy it. I dedicate
it to the Old Crowd....

How Do You Solve the Problems With the Plot Lines?

(sung to the tune of How Do You Solve a Problem like
Maria?
>From the Sound of Music by Rodgers and Hammerstein)
New Words by Randy Estes

The old crowd is sitting around the table in a
restaurant having tea and biscuits.  Kneasy and Pippin
start to discuss their latest theories when the group
starts one by one to break into song. You can decide
who sings which line.  I prefer Ms Rowling makes me
laugh


She makes Harry hang with Dursleys
His room beneath the stairs
And constantly he feels harassed
A Wizard unaware
But soon hes off to Hogwarts
To the life his parents shared
We praised her book endings most every Summer

Shes always great for humor
And her characters seem real
Shes always late for publishing
Every moment she can steal
I hate to have to say it
But I very firmly feel
Ms. Rowlings left some holes the size of Hummers

Id like to say a word on her behalf
Ms. Rowling makes me laugh

But

How do you solve the problems with the plot lines?
How do you solve the clues shes left around?
How do you find the words to tell Ms. Rowling?
A plot bunny dropping! And so many adverbs abound?

Many a thing you know youd like to tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay
And listen to all you say
How do you keep her thoughts in your command?

Oh how do you solve the problems with the plot lines?
How do you make the stories fit your plans?

When I read her Im confused
And that character is misused
And I never know what is Snapes master plan 
Unpredictable as weather
Her bad guys disguised forever
Hes a diary! Hes a werewolf! A different Man!

Rowlings plot lines always twist
Fooling readers she cant resist
She will throw Dark Arts Professors out of school.
She is sneaky! She is sly!
Has a twinkle in her eye!
Non-conformist! Shes a liberal!
Shes no fool!

But

How do you solve the problems with the plot lines?
How do you solve the clues shes left around?
How do you find the words to tell Ms. Rowling?
A plot bunny dropping! And so many adverbs abound?

Many a thing you know youd like to tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay
And listen to all you say
How do you keep her thoughts in your command?

Oh how do you solve the problems with the plot lines?
How do you make the stories fit your plans?



Copyright 2005 by Randy Estes.  All rights reserved.




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