"Oh, bad luck, Harry."

[Barry Arrowsmith]

Throughout the series Harry has on occasion been more than a little  
fortunate, and with only one book to go, it really wouldn't do for  
him to have to rely on luck again, don't you think? We want to see a  
good clean fight, may the best wizard win, and all that sportsman- 
like stuff. But since Voldy has proved to be so inept and his hench- 
wizards even more so, it'd make the last book so much more exciting  
if the odds were evened up a bit.

After all, what does Voldy have going for him? Merely the reputation  
as the ex-number 2 wizard (now presumably number 1), his long-laid  
plans and schemes, a 'Get out of Veil free' ploy thanks  to his  
Horcrux dodge, an unknown number of carefully laid lethal traps, an  
insiders knowledge of Harry's head, plus the Malfoys, Bella, other  
assorted sadistic and murderous DEs, the Dementors, the Inferi,  
werewolves, Giants and so on.

Facing him is young Potter with an idiot Weasley or three, an  
accident-prone Neville, the Herminator and a New-Age loon. That's  
odds of about 1,000,000 : 1 on Voldy - but as the sainted Pratchett  
points out, in Fantasy, one chance in a million wins 9 times out of 10.
Easy-peasy. Harry wins in  a stroll.

So I'm of the opinion that an extra handicap or two wouldn't go amiss.

See, I got to thinking. If there's the Felix Felicis Potion, why not  
the exact opposite, an Infaustus Infusion. Have a slurp of that  
and ... oh dear.

Everyone knows about the universal applicability of Murphy's Law, not  
so many are familiar with Sod's Law and its corollaries. Pity.  
They're more comprehensive [*] and with the gremlins generated by  
these basic truths Harry could have a very bad hair-day indeed, but  
on the other hand he'll have a sterling opportunity to prove himself  
as a pukka whizzo wizard.

So let's imagine that it's Harry's birthday and an unknown but malign  
hand slips a hefty glug of Infaustus Infusion into his breakfast  
porridge. How might the day go then?

Having heard that DD has finally popped his clogs, the Dursleys  
conclude that any previous agreement/threat is now null and void and  
promptly sling Harry out on his ear. Oops! No more protection.

Donning his invisibility cloak he mounts his broom and accompanied by  
Hedwig flits off to the Burrow. Right across the Heathrow flight  
path. That evening BBC News reports the unusual phenomenon of minced  
owl falling over parts of Surrey.

Arrives at the Burrow. Only Ginny, the light of his life, is at home.  
He co-opts her to help him move the rest of his stuff out of Privet  
Drive. Where she immediately falls head over heels in lust for the  
rippling muscles of Dudders.

Encumbered by magical impedimenta and a girl-friend (soon to earn the  
prefix ex- if she doesn't shut up) who keeps poking his biceps and  
muttering "I've seen more meat on a butcher's pencil,"  our hero  
reaches the sanctuary of Grimmauld Place only to find a writ for  
damages nailed to the door.  (207 Prophecy Globes, some antique with  
significant sentimental value, and 53 Timeturners add up to galleons  
by the barrow-load.)
Ginny finally shuts up.

Not so the portrait of Ma Black. Curses, imprecations and manic  
shrieks reverberate through the house as Harry shovels his stuff  
through the door and then descends to the kitchen, slumps into a  
chair and sinks his head into his hands and gazes unseeingly at a  
pile of owl-mail on the kitchen table.

"So, if it isn't young Potter, come to take what's mine. We'll see  
about that!"
Bella!
Leaping to his feet  and grabbing for his wand Harry fails to notice  
that Kreacher has snuck in and magically tied his shoe-laces  
together. Face-down in Gnome droppings and with his head protruding  
through the kitchen-door cat-flap, a stunned Harry realises the voice  
came from a Howler he'd disturbed on the table.
"Phew," he thought, "that's lucky."
Little does he know.....

to be continued.

Kneasy

[*] Where the great Murphy predicted that "If something can go wrong,  
it will" -  which is bad enough, Sod's observations raise the stakes  
somewhat:

1. The degree of failure is in direct proportion to the effort  
expended and the need for success.

2. Sooner or later the worst set of circumstances is bound to occur.

3. Anything that is to go wrong will do so at the worst possible moment.